


Astral Influence

by Pachyveria



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2020-06-29 04:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19822984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pachyveria/pseuds/Pachyveria
Summary: Divine intervention, or even what some would call dumb luck, is a blessing to those hoping for change. Yet for the courier, it's hard to know what to do with this second chance. A tale of the courier from the beginning of his life to the end of his journey.





	1. June, 2253

Once school was adjourned for the day a small group of children stepped out of the schoolhouse and squinted into the blinding Mojave light. Jay watched from his spot in the field he had been tilling and brushed his muddy hands against his overalls. They were luckier children than him. 

He craned his neck to the man feeding Brahmin behind him. “Am I done?”

“For today.” The older man grumbled. “Be back early tomorrow if you wanna get paid.”

Jay stood and exited the farm. Other children often stopped and engaged in conversation before leaving town, but Jay quickly collected his tools and took one step after another toward his home right away. It was hot, but he needed to get back to his family, and he badly wanted a chance to wash the sweat off his back. His joints ached from his chores on the farm and he hoped that tonight he might get to go to sleep early. 

“Hey, wait up!” 

Jay startled and stopped short in his tracks. He looked up from the ground and once he slightly recognized the speaker he slowed his walk to allow the boy to catch up with him. A flurry of dusty air blew past and he lifted a hand to shield his eyes.

The student jogged up to Jay with a grin, “Glad that’s over.”

Jay frowned and hitched his pack of farming tools a bit higher onto his broad shoulders, “What do you mean?”

The boy tilted his head quizzically. “Uh school? School’s over.” 

“Oh… right.” Jay met his gaze and shrugged. “Ain’t you going back tomorrow though?”

There was an awkward pause and the boy cleared his throat. “Well yeah, obviously but…” 

Just then a girl with braided hair and overalls appeared beside them. Jay had not noticed her scuttle over and flinched just a bit. “Hi Arnold!” She squealed breathlessly with a sky wide smile. The freckles that were splattered across her face seemed much stronger in the sunlight. 

She looked at Jay and her smile broadened even further, “Hi Jay.” 

“Hi.” Jay said quietly, he found himself quickly growing more and more uncomfortable. He couldn’t remember her name. Jay looked up at the bright blue sky. He just wanted to go home. 

“Where are you headed?” The girl asked him. 

“Home.” Jay answered, his response had come out sharper than he had intended, however she seemed unfazed. This had never happened before and he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. 

Arnold shifted on his feet uncomfortably and looked back at the crowd of school children over his shoulder. One of them had retrieved an old ball and had started kicking it back and forth in a game. 

Jay felt a pit forming in his stomach. He felt cornered, trapped. He felt like a bug that they’d caught and had now placed under a violating inspection for some confidential reason. 

“Oh, well why don’t you stay with us today? We’re all gonna play a game.” The girl smiled at him, this time more shyly. 

He looked down at his feet and then forced himself to look at her eyes. The other farmers had scolded him about how it wasn’t polite to look anywhere but someone’s eyes when they were talking to you. Her eyes were grey and foggy-looking in the sun and they reminded Jay of little mothballs. 

“Sorry, I have to get home and help out.” He answered steadily. 

She and Arnold shared a look between them that Jay didn’t understand. 

There was a silence, and Jay took this as his chance to leave. He turned his back and started down his usual path again. 

Jay ignored the strange whispers he heard coming from behind him and focused on the promise of a shower.

A rush of relief washed over Jay when his home finally graced his sights. It was a small one-floor ranch. Large chunks of plaster were missing from the exterior walls that used to be white, but now closer resembled dark beige. Each of the columns that held up the outer roof all bent in different directions, like someone had kicked them. Jay sighed, knowing his father, someone most likely had. Once he reached the front door it hung sadly off its top hinge. 

As soon as he entered the house he heard the familiar sound of his little brother crying. Jay frowned when he noticed that this time it was not the usual attention-seeking cry, it sounded far more desperate and upset. 

He walked into the room that they shared and found his two year old brother sitting on the floor. The child was releasing ear shattering, screaming cries with each shaky intake of breath he took. His small fists were clenched tight and his face had turned a brilliant shade of red. 

“Whoa Riley! What’s wrong?” Jay asked hurriedly and gathered Riley into his arms. When he turned to his brother’s crib he saw that the old rotting wood had broken and the supporting legs had snapped. Jay lifted the back of Riley’s shirt and uncovered a large bruise on his back from the impact of the fall that he must have taken. He wondered just how long Riley had been sitting here alone on the floor crying. 

Jay felt his heart clench with sorrow and guilt. If he hadn’t been out working this wouldn’t have happened. He scolded himself for believing his parents wouldn’t leave Riley home all alone. Riley’s crying still rang throughout the room and Jay rocked him gently. “It’s okay buddy, I’m here.” 

Riley quieted for a moment as if listening to his brother’s words, but his crying soon started again. He stood for a moment unsure of what to do. “Are you hungry?” He asked, betting that it had been too long since he was fed. 

Jay carried the baby into the kitchen and grabbed a container of food, then sat and situated with him on his lap. He took the mush on a spoon and offered it to Riley, who simply stared at it. 

“Come on buddy, its not so bad.” Jay coaxed. He tried a small bit to solidify his point and had to fight the urge to make a face. He hated mutfruit. 

Riley’s cries had slowly silenced as he sat listening to Jay speak. His small face split into a lopsided grin. Jay grinned back. “See! There you go! I’m right here buddy, I promise it ain’t so bad.” 

He offered the spoon again and this time Riley accepted it happily. Jay felt a surge of triumph. 

A large number of spoonful’s later Riley had mush dribbled down his chin and all over Jay’s hand-me-downs, but he was smiling and gurgling happily again as Jay knew a baby deserved to. Once Riley was finished eating he leaned over and checked the bruise on his back again, it looked painful. 

Jay felt a wave of heat rise in his chest, a collection of anger and sadness and not being enough to keep him safe. It burned up to his cheeks and he felt hot tears slowly collect in his eyes when he looked at Riley. Jay swallowed heavily.

The door flew open with a slam and jittered on its broken hinge. Jay was startled out of his thoughts and he jumped in his chair. He turned to see his mother and father rush in and he hurriedly wiped at his eyes. The pair held the unmistakable air of a tense silence that always came after a fight. 

Their father walked past without glancing at his sons, and his mother brushed by and stomped over to the sink. She leaned down and turned on the facet, splashing water on her face. 

“Mom?” Jay asked and she flinched before turning slowly. Riley cooed at her happily and stretched his arms out toward her. 

After a brief pause her expression softened to her sons and she walked forward to stand in front of them. She quickly scooped Riley up into her arms and Jay fought the urge to reach out and take his brother back. 

“He was on the floor when I got home from work. The crib broke and he was bruised from the fall. He was practically starving to death.” Jay fought to try and contain the bitter resentment he felt. He wanted to yell, he wanted to scream. Yet, he watched as Riley grinned happily in his mother’s arms and he deflated. No point in ruining another person’s happiness, he told himself. 

His mother waved a dismissive hand without meeting her son’s gaze. “Tell your father, maybe he can fix the crib.” 

And with that she walked past him and into her room, shutting the door behind her and leaving Jay sitting alone in the dim light of the run down kitchen. 

Jay sighed his way through another surge of animosity and ran a hand through his hair. He stood and stepped outside to the porch and looked out across the miles of road before him. He felt a pull toward the road, a yearning in his heart that wanted nothing more than to follow it and see if it had a safe place to take him. 

Jay heard Riley babble softly from inside and he quickly shut those thoughts away. No, his brother needed him. He felt an immense wave of guilt for even thinking like that. Life wasn’t about what he wanted, it never had been. 

He leaned forward and rested his elbows against the railing, his eyes wandering again. His gaze found the house across the road and he noticed the girl from earlier looking at him from the porch. A light was on from inside that illuminated her and made her look like she was glowing. She sat on the front steps with her legs drawn to her chest and her head leaning on her knees. 

Their eyes met even through the distance between them and after a pause she slowly raised a hand and offered a gentle wave, a shy smile on her face. 

Jay felt an urge to just turn and go back inside, as it seemed like every time he wanted to be alone someone was there. He turned slightly and took a step back toward his door. Yet, he felt an unexpected tug inside and instead he steeled himself and offered a halfhearted wave back. He saw her beam at him in response. 

She turned and flounced back up the stairs. Just before she entered her home she turned and looked at him again and Jay felt his face tinge red. She disappeared behind the door and Jay was once again alone in the night.

He tilted his head up to the vast expanse of sky and sighed. Connie. Her name was Connie.


	2. August, 2258

“Please, please work.” Jay mumbled to himself as he grasped the rusted metal facet again and pulled. He held his breath and willed water to rush forth, he closed his eyes and willed it with all his might. Jay sighed when only a single drop fell pathetically down the drain. He took his wrench and leaned down again.

“Jay?”

He flinched and bumped his head hard against the pipe before crawling back out from under the sink and looking up. His father stood above him, all large muscles and thin lines across his face.

Jay rubbed his head and squinted at his father. “Yes?”

“There’s a girl here.” His father told him. 

Jay frowned from his spot on the floor. “Why?” He immediately regretted asking, as he knew his father didn’t like to be asked questions. 

His father glared down at him through half lidded eyes and grunted, “I don’t know. Go ask her.” With that he turned and was gone. 

Jay sat up and self-consciously rubbed at the smear of oil on his cheek. He passed Riley in the kitchen and stuck his hand in his wild hair and ruffled it. Riley mumbled in protest and swatted him away. He was engrossed in a Grognak magazine and did not wish to be bothered. 

When Jay stopped in the doorframe he saw the girl standing outside waiting for him. She stood in the sun examining the pipes near the house. She was tall, a bit taller than Jay and she had long spindly limbs that drifted smoothly when she moved. Her hair was wavy and short; it framed her angular face and looked like it had been cut in an anxiety ridden fit. 

It was Connie, one of the children who went to the nearby school. She reached out and trailed her hand across one of the pipes and followed it until it burrowed underneath the ground. 

“Hi…” Jay said quietly, unsure of how else to start the conversation and ask her why she was here, as he didn’t want to sound threatening. 

Connie jumped and drew her hand away from the pipe guiltily. 

“Sorry.” She began with a nervous laugh, her laughter came out quick and abrupt, and it was easy to tell when it wasn’t genuine. She cringed a bit as if she too could hear how disingenuous her belt of laughter sounded. “I was just wondering where it goes.” 

Jay wondered if that was why she was here, and feared whether or not he would have to go into a full explanation when he wasn’t entirely sure himself.

“It’s… for the water. For the house.” He stated lamely.

“We use it for showers so we can get the sand off us.” Came a voice behind him and Jay turned around to look at his brother, despite the fact that he already knew it was Riley.

Connie grinned at Riley, he was sitting on the railing of the porch even know Jay had told him not to. The last thing he wanted was for the wood to collapse under him. 

“I wish we had that. We just have the well.” She turned back to Jay and studied him and Jay felt the urge to shyly wipe the dirt from his face again. 

“Did you need something?” He asked and looked back at Riley who was now tracing lines in the sun-bleached sand. 

Connie raised a hand to shield her eyes from the beating sun, “Yeah, Farmer Carver asked me to come get you, he needs you to help find some tool.”

Jay sighed; Carver was always losing his equipment. 

“Alright. I’ll be right back, Riley.” Jay said and walked back inside to put down the wrench that he had forgotten he was holding. 

“But I want to come with you!” Riley exclaimed, quickly abandoning the drawings he had made in the sand. 

Jay thought for a moment and nodded, “Okay, but if it takes too long I want you to head back. I don’t want you out after dark.” 

Connie stood at the end of the walkway waiting for them as the soft summer wind blew her skirt around her knees. She smiled with the glee of an adventurer yearning for her next task. 

“You don’t have to come with us if you have other things to do.” Jay told her and Connie shook her head hurriedly. 

“I’d like to help, if it’s all the same to you.” She answered. She crossed her arms behind her and rolled back and forth on the heels of her feet. Jay had never seen someone so excited to do what boiled down to another chore. 

As a gust of wind flew by, Connie motioned to the boys to come closer. She leaned in conspiratorially and Riley quickly followed suit with wide eyes. Jay leaned back with a puzzled expression. “Just between us, farmer Carver says you stole it, but it probably just got buried under sand again.” 

Riley grinned and looked up at Jay, “You stole it?” 

“No.” Jay answered with a sigh and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles. 

Connie giggled and the three turned and began to walk down to the farm. Jay looked over at Connie and tried to think of something to say. She was friendly and always smiling, but in less of a neighborly, joyful manner and more in a quick nervous haste as if she felt the world may collapse if she didn’t keep smiling. He never knew what to say to someone who moved so fast and silence quickly filled the space between them. 

“Are you working at the farm now too?” Riley asked Connie as they turned at the run down general store and passed a few houses. Large chunks of drywall were missing from their sides and each house had the scowling face of a wastelander peering out the window suspiciously. 

Connie shook her head; “No, I was up by the schoolhouse so he sent me to fetch Jay.” 

At the mention of school she cast a sidelong glance at Jay but he avoided her eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“No it’s fine.” Jay responded almost too quickly. He nudged Riley with a gentle expression, “Not everyone works on the farm, buddy.”

Carver was already waiting for them by the time they trudged up the sandy walkway. Frown lines had dug themselves deeper into his face than the slopes between the mountains nearby. 

“I didn’t say you had to come too.” He commented gruffly with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Jay immediately thought he was referring to Riley but Connie blushed, “Sorry,” she said quietly, sounding offended. 

Farmer Carver raised an eyebrow but said nothing in return. The cigarette that hung from his mouth twitched. Riley had moved to the fence and was petting a Brahmin that had leaned one of its large heads through the space between the wood planks. 

The Brahmins left head titled to the side as it leaned further into Riley. It grunted happily as his small hand rubbed against the side of its large weathered head and its right head looked up toward the bright sky. Riley giggled and leaned further into the fence, his toes lifted him as high as he could go and his arm stretched out to reach the animal. 

“You can pet them all day once we find it.” Carver remarked. He began walking toward his tool shed and jerked his head forward, motioning to the children to follow suit. Riley jumped down and grabbed onto Jay, who was already waiting for him with his hand outstretched. 

“Which tool is missing?” Jay asked and Connie giggled. She pursed her lips and raised her blonde eyebrows.

 _“Stolen!”_ She mouthed silently and skipped ahead of them. Her skirt twirled around her knees in jerky motions with each fold of yellowed cloth. Riley broke from Jay’s hand and ran behind her, giggling along with her and matching her childish glee as the hot air whipped across his face. 

“My pruning knife.” He answered, his voice gruff. Jay watched Connie and Riley as they chased each other through the nearby cornfield. 

Carver kicked the door of the shed open and it squeaked as it swung wildly back on its old rusted hinges. Thousands of dust particles were exposed in the light as they drifted to the ground. An array of old pre-war tools sat in wait inside the shed and Jay squatted down beside them. 

“Maybe it was left outside? We’ll have to dig for it if it was.” Jay offered as he sifted through the unorganized tools. He frowned, there were more tools missing than just the pruning knife, but he kept his mouth shut. 

“Just look kid, I didn’t leave it outside.” Farmer Carver responded. He tossed a rake to the side and scanned the area beneath it. 

Jay reached for a heavier tool to search beneath it and Carver reached out a grabbed it. “Careful.” He muttered and moved it aside. 

The shed door swung open again and Connie burst in with a gust of warm air around her. Her face was pale and she held Riley’s hand tightly in her own. “Well?” She asked, “Could you find it?” 

“No.” Jay answered and he tried not to look at Farmer Carvers accusing glare. The man crossed his arms and surveyed and shed with a huff. 

All three children shifted under the farmers gaze in an uncomfortable silence until Connie broke it. “It’s getting dark,” She began hesitantly, “We should all get home and come back for it tomorrow.” She let go of Riley and they each shuffled out one by one. 

Jay braced himself to be called back, but he slipped out the rotted door successfully. He let the air he’d been holding slip back out of his tired lungs. 

They crossed the large cornfield in silence, but they hadn’t walked far before Connie began sending uneasy glances in Jay’s direction and Riley started to fidget uncomfortably. When they had almost left the field Riley trudged to the side to walk beside Connie. He whispered something to her and she shook her head at him, casting another pensive gaze at Jay. 

He frowned and stared at Jay, Connie shook her head again and Jay stared back at his brother. “What?” 

Riley stopped short and balled up his fists, his face began to turn a brilliant shade of pink and his features turned to the expression he always wore before throwing a fit. 

“Riley, please.” Connie said quietly, she began to wring her hands together and she cringed when he stomped his small foot onto the sand beneath him. 

“For Pete’s sake, what is it?” Jay asked again, he took a step toward Riley but he stomped his foot deep into the sand again, as if he were trying to meld himself into the Mojave. 

Connie moved beside Riley and placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to shush his impending words though it was clearly in vain. Riley squeezed his eyes shut tight before releasing an angry shout up into the clouds. 

“I wanna tell him!” Riley cried and Connie raked a nervous hand across the back of her neck. If she had the ability to fold in on herself and disappear she certainly would have.

“Tell me what? What’s wrong?” Jay pushed, he glanced around nervously, none of them should be yelling this far from town. 

“I found it!” Riley blurted out. “I saw the knife down in the fields!” 

“You saw the tool?” Jay repeated, and he stared at Connie who avoided his gaze. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We don’t know what we saw.” Connie butted in, “It was just a shimmer in the light. It could have been anything.” She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at her shoes. 

“She wouldn’t let me get to it,” Riley continued, his eyes were wide with wonder like he was telling a story he had written himself. “But I know it was the knife! I know it and I found it!” 

“The longer it takes me to find it the angrier Farmer Carver’s going to be…” Jay began, he searched Connie’s face and after a moment her eyes met his. They were grey and light and fuzzy like always but even more than that they were pleading. 

“It could have been anything…” She repeated. “Let’s just go home.” 

“I know I saw it!” Riley interjected with a frown. 

Jay sighed and rubbed his face; he felt dirt and grime shift on his skin. The sun hadn’t fully set yet, they would have time to go back and he felt a pit form in his stomach at the thought of going to work tomorrow with nothing. 

“We’ll have to go back then.” Jay muttered and he stood back up. He ran a hand through Riley’s nest of hair. His hair needed to be cut again soon and Jay made a mental note. 

Riley beamed at him and grabbed his hand, “Let’s go! I know where it was!” 

Connie stepped forward desperately and grabbed Jays other hand. “Jay, wait…” 

“It’ll just be a minute.” Jay told her and he began to pull away before he felt the warmth of her soft hand in his again. There was graveness in her eyes that snuffed out the excitement they’d held earlier, and Jay found himself wanting to see it again. “You can come with us if you want.” He offered before he allowed Riley to pull him away into the stalks and they shut like curtains before her frightened expression. 

“Come on!” Riley hollered, pulling Jay behind him as fast as he could carry himself. 

Connie rushed behind them, wincing as long stalks of corn sling shot themselves back and whacked her freckled face. She fought the spindly limbs away and raced after them. 

“Jay!” She called out through the plants. 

The sun had dipped down further behind the horizon and the whole world was beginning to turn deep blue, like they were suspended beneath rolling waves of water. 

Jay looked back in the direction of her voice and saw nothing but tall shapes of browns and yellows before him, no grey eyes. He held on to Riley and allowed himself to be pulled one-way and then another, deeper into the abyss of overgrown vegetation. 

“Please, wait!” Connie called out again, the plants grasped at the hem of her dress and dug its fibers into her wavy hair, but she shook herself free and continued to run after them. 

Riley slowed and stopped when they reached a brief clearing, he grinned up at Jay and surveyed the area around them before jumping into the air. “There!” He cried and pointed to a small slope in the ground. 

Jay walked forward and bent down on his knees, he leaned over the curve in the sand and reached down. A soft shimmer caught his eye in the growing moonlight and he stretched his hand down to grasp the figure. His hand hit something wet, sticky, and slightly warm. It coated his fingers and sent a cold shiver through his spinal cord like an electric shock. Jay wiggled his fingers, pulling down further, trying to grasp the shimmer he had seen. The warm wet feeling continued, and he pulled his hand back. 

He held the missing tool in his hand, but both his hand and the tool were painted a deep crimson red that dripped down from his skin and onto the earth beneath him. Jay stared in horror at the blood that covered him and he heard Riley shriek from somewhere far away. 

Connie burst into the clearing with a terrified expression, “Oh, god.” She stammered out before turning away abruptly and vomiting on the ground beneath her. 

Jay gazed around him in confusion, only breaking from his daze when Riley stepped forward. “Stay back Riley!” He shouted and Riley stilled. 

Jay shuddered with fear and tried to soften, he didn’t mean to shout. “Please…” He added gently and tried to offer a reassuring smile that he was certain came off as a pained grimace. 

Connie held a hand over her mouth and held Riley to her side with her other arm. They stood swaying in the cold night breeze, waiting for the next moment to come and tell them what to do. 

Jay braced himself and looked back to the scene before him. The limp body of a man lay there in the divot in the earth, decayed and mangled. His eyes were wide and glassy as they stared right back at Jay. His mouth lay open, capturing the ever-present picture of a scream. There was a harsh cut down his stomach that had almost split him in two. The contents of his stomach lay spilled across the field, red blood coating every inch of the area it inhabited. 

There was a spot where the knife had lain there on the ground beside him, glinting in the moonlight like a beacon. Jay leaned down further and focused his eyes, and through the growing darkness he saw a deep red pattern drawn beside the man. It stretched out over the body and out into the sand. It looked like some kind of great horned animal, but Jay didn’t know for sure what it was meant to be. 

Jay dropped the knife and backed away from the scene, staring down at his hand and completely unsure what to do. 

He stood in front of Connie, she held Riley close to her, his face tucked against her side so he could not see what lay before them. Tears began to flow down her face and she whimpered. She sobbed and Jay quickly grabbed her free hand with his clean hand and pulled them all out of the field.

Jay led the pair mindlessly to his house where he left Connie and Riley holding onto each other outside. He stumbled into the house and stopped short, he wished the harsh pounding in his chest would stop. 

“Dad?” He called desperately. He was met with no response. Jay rushed out the wooden back door to the farmland outside and called for his father again. His frightened voice echoed through the canyons and quieted. Jay spotted his father sitting on a barrel at the end of the field and he ran to him. 

“Dad!” He called, he couldn’t remember the last time he called out for his father so directly, but his fear had overpowered whatever had held him back before. 

His father didn’t turn around, even when Jay reached him and stood beside him. He looked out at the winding roads near the city with an angry, cold stare. He clutched a shotgun in one hand with a tight, white knuckled grip. Jay could never read his father, but his stare upon the roads looked accusing. 

“Dad?” Jay asked, speaking a bit quieter this time as his heart still beat against his eardrums. 

“Go away.” His father hissed. “Don’t bother me, I’m busy.” 

“But-!” Jay cried and his father finally faced him. His light eyes were red and each vein bulged uncomfortably. The veins in his forehead looked like they were about to burst from his skin.

“I said-“ 

“Wait, please! There’s a man! There’s a man in the field by Farmer Carver!” Jay stammered and he took a nervous step back. He felt a rock forming in his throat, his father didn’t like to be bothered and he knew it. 

“The hell do you mean?” His father demanded, he abandoned his seat and towered over his son. 

“We found- we found his body. He’s… he’s dead.” Jay murmured, he felt his knees weakening and he tried not to let any tears escape his eyes. 

“You found a dead man in the field?” 

Jay nodded meekly. “There was some kind of drawing over him.”

“What drawing?” His father questioned. Jay hesitated and he shoved Jay a bit. “Tell me!”

“It was- I think it was an animal.” Jay offered quietly, he didn’t know how else to describe it.

“What kind of animal?” He asked and shoved him again.

“I don’t know.” Jay answered, a tear fell from his eye and he wiped at it angrily. 

His father grabbed the shotgun and stormed off as if he had been waiting for this moment his whole life. Jay stood and looked out on the horizon his father had been staring at. He wrapped his arms around himself and stood still, staring for a moment, and then another, before he tore himself away. 

“What happened?” Connie asked him when he rounded the corner and stood beside them again. Riley still clutched her hand tightly in his own. 

Jay gave no response as he leaned down and held Riley for a long moment, before nudging him inside, telling him that he would be there in a moment. Riley trudged up the stairs and entered their house and Jay turned back to Connie. He was still holding his bloody hand awkwardly away from him so that it hovered in the air. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jay asked quietly, his insides churned within him. 

“I saw…” She sobbed and dragged the back of her hand across her mouth. Her chest heaved as she took in a shaky breath. “I saw all the blood, so much blood. I didn’t want either of you to have to see it. It scared me so bad and I just wanted it to go away, so I ran.” Another cry wracked through Connie, and she wrapped her arms tightly around herself. “I didn’t see the body, I just saw the blood.” She looked away from Jays face.

“I’ve seen the farmers slaughter Brahmin, I thought maybe that was all it was. I wanted it to be all it was. I thought if I didn’t look closely it would go away.”

Jay said nothing, he wanted to console her but he didn’t know how. 

Connie shuddered. “I didn’t want Riley to see the blood.” 

She placed a shaky hand at her throat and fiddled nervously with the bone that stuck out there. “I didn’t know what to do.” She said quietly. 

“I didn’t either.” Jay offered gently. 

Connie looked up at him sadly. She studied him for a long time before they both looked down at their feet. 

“I should go home now.” She told him. Jay watched as she walked slowly to one of the old homes and disappeared behind the door. He then slipped back into his own house, where everything was silent and empty. 

Jay went to the sink and scrubbed the blood from his hand. He leaned forward against the counter and watched blankly as the water turned red before disappearing down the drain. 

Riley was already laying on the array of blankets when Jay entered the room they shared, and he watched Jay as he slipped out of his boots and settled on the floor behind him. He gathered Riley in his arms and held him close, and they lay in the dark and listened to the hum of each other’s breathing. Riley reached out and grasped Jay’s hand. Both felt as if they had been turned upside down and shaken violently, and they waited desperately for all their pieces to settle back into place. 

“Riley?” Jay asked hesitantly. He knew he needed to say something, to explain to Riley what happened. He needed to make sense of it and try to help Riley understand, but it was hard to do when he didn’t fully understand himself. 

“Yeah?” Riley urged, he kept his back to Jay and remained still. He fiddled with a stray thread that stuck out of the blanket in several places. 

“I’m… I’m sorry you saw what you did. I know it was scary. But it’s going to be okay, we’re all okay.” 

Riley wrapped his fingers around the stray thread and pulled hard. He was silent for a long moment before he spoke again. “You had a new face today.” He commented quietly. 

Jay was taken aback, “What?” 

There was a rustle from outside and they both quieted instinctively before Riley continued. 

“Your face, you looked so scared in the field. You usually look like grown up, but when you saw that man you looked like me. I’ve never seen your face look like that.” 

“…I was scared.” Jay finally said after a while. “It’s okay to be scared.” 

“I didn’t know you got scared too. It scared me to see your face like that.”

Long after Riley had drifted off to sleep Jay lay awake, Riley’s words bouncing haphazardly off the walls of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all those who have taken the time to read my work, and thank you so much to ThatForestPrince for the kudos! It means so much to me. Have a great day! :)


	3. March, 2261

It was finally raining. After months of dry, scorching, unbearable days rain finally poured from the sky. The rain spilled down the sloped roofs of old houses and filled the dry riverbeds. Cactus flowers stretched up to the sky, reaching as high up as they possibly could to let the raindrops drizzle down their steams. 

When Jay felt the cold rain hit his hot back he sighed and closed his eyes. He stayed kneeling in the field where he had been working all day, savoring the cooling feeling. He kept his eyes shut tight so that he would never forget the sensation as the rain poured down against him. 

“Jay!” He heard someone call from far away and he slowly opened his eyes. 

“Look!” Riley called out again as he bounded out of the schoolhouse, where he had been playing marbles with the other children. His small legs raced down the road toward the farm where his brother worked. “It’s raining!” He cried with pure joy and the rain poured down his face and soaked his clothing. The sheer strength of it had already seeped through the coat he was holding and he dropped it to the ground to run faster. 

Jay stayed kneeling in the dirt and he grinned at his brother. He was quickly approaching at a speed that Jay knew was going to hurt when they collided, but he opened his arms for Riley anyway. 

Riley swung the pasture door open with all his might and flew through the field, kicking up dirt behind him in big messy streaks. He whooped with joy and threw himself hard against Jay. When they collided Jay wrapped his arms around Riley and stood. Then he began to spin, swinging them both through the air as Riley locked his arms around his neck and screeched with joy. 

Jay placed Riley on the ground and watched as his younger brother danced in the rain. He wiggled around in circles and the rain danced with him. It poured down and cascaded off his frame, making it look like he had wings. 

Riley spun around and slipped in the mud. He fell hard on his side with a loud thump, but he threw himself down on his back and beamed up at the sky as the rain flew into his grinning mouth and poured down his cheeks. Jay didn’t know if Riley was crying happy tears or if it was just the rain. 

Jay sighed again and looked up at the sky too. His eyes slipped shut as he felt the rain coat his face and flood through his thick, black hair. Riley’s laughter mingled with the pattering sound of the rain, until the rain began to beat down even harder and Riley’s giggles were drowned out. 

“Boys! Come inside before it gets dark!” They heard their mother shout and the moment ended. 

“Come on, Riley.” Jay said gently and he offered a hand to him. 

Riley frowned from his spot in the mud, “Just a few more minutes.” He whined. 

Jay shook his head. “Let’s get on home before you catch a cold.” He practically had to shout to be heard over the rain.

Riley pouted for a moment before he took Jays outstretched hand and stood, mud and water sliding from his body. As they passed the coat Riley had thrown down Jay picked it up and placed it under his arm. 

They trudged to the door where their mother was waiting. Her wild curly hair stood high around her shoulders like prickly thorns on a cactus. Everything about her, from her hair and her muscled arms was tough and inflexible. She stood in the doorframe with her arms crossed tight, and she watched the boys closely when they stepped onto the porch and out of the rain. With a quick and practiced movement she produced a towel and held it out to Jay. 

“You two ain’t coming in my house like that.” 

Jay took the towel gently and Riley grinned at their mother. 

“Did you see the rain?” He asked her and he wiped some dirt from his brow, leaving a long stripe of mud across his face in the process. 

“I see it now.” She answered, and she shut the door behind her. 

“Let’s go dance in it some more!” Riley prompted and he bounced on the heels of his feet. It made it very difficult to towel him off while he moved like that. Riley was always moving, bounding through the town or shimmying in place when he was being forced to stay still. 

“We ain’t allowed outside after dark, remember?” Jay answered as he ruffled the towel over Riley’s head to dry his wavy hair. Rules had been much stricter since that night in the field. Most days Jay tried not to think about it. 

Riley pushed the towel up from his eyes so he could see, “But it never rains Jay! This is special!” 

“It’ll rain again someday.” Jay told him as he ran the towel gently over Riley’s arms. 

“Someday…” Riley said sadly and Jay placed a hand on his face, tilting his head back up. 

“Chin up, kid.” He said gently as he wrapped the towel tightly around Riley’s shoulders. 

Riley smiled gently as Jay watched the happy light return to his eyes, it was never gone for long. 

“Hey,” he began and nudged Jay. “Come on, I wanna show you something.” 

Jay nodded and followed Riley inside, where their mother stood by the window watching them. “You’d better wash those clothes.” 

“We will!” Riley answered mindlessly as he hurried Jay into their room. 

Riley dove onto his bed, his muddy clothes quickly dirtying the blankets beneath him. He reached behind his pillow and grabbed an old tattered object. “Look!” He cried and shoved it at Jay with a grin. 

Jay raised an eyebrow and took it carefully in his hands, as if he was afraid he’d break it just by holding it. “It’s… a book?” 

“Yeah I got it from school.” Riley smiled in excitement and pulled Jay down beside him. “Can you read it to me?”

Jay shifted uncomfortably, “Ain’t you learning to read in school anyway?” 

“Yeah, but I wanted you to read this one for me.” Riley explained. “Please?” He pushed and he leaned against Jay. 

Jay tilted the book and watched as it fluttered open. Pages spun past before settling and he tried not to grimace at them. All he could see before him were strange shapes and haphazard ink scratches. He couldn’t comprehend the words, he had never learned how. He placed the book on his lap and fiddled with the pages. He wished there was a way he could learn quickly, right now, so that he wouldn’t have to disappoint Riley. 

“Go on!” Riley pressed and he squirmed a bit, as it was always hard for him to wait for very long. 

Jay felt his heart tighten and he ran the tip of his finger up and down a tear in the book. “I can’t.” 

Riley sat up, “What do you mean? You don’t want to?” 

“I just can’t, I’m sorry.” Jay repeated. Each word began to quiet so that it was hard to hear him at all. 

“Do you want me to get a different book?” Riley offered, he tried to meet Jay’s eyes but he wouldn’t look up from the small divot in the book. 

“No it’s not that. I just can’t. I’m sorry.” Jay answered and he closed it gently. 

“Please Jay…” Riley pushed, but Jay said nothing. 

When Jay kept his head down Riley realized he had made Jay feel sad, and while he didn’t know why, he wanted to make it better. 

“Maybe I could read it to you instead?” Riley offered, and after a moment Jay brightened a bit. 

“Yeah… I’d like that.” Jay answered and Riley sat up and opened the book. 

Riley hadn’t read for very long before his words began to clump together and he slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep. Jay took the book from him carefully and closed it before he returned it to its safe spot behind his pillow. He grabbed a blanket and situated it over him and Riley snored gently. 

Jay lay down on his own bed a few feet away, and he was beginning to fall asleep when he heard a loud sound from outside. It pierced through the night and shook him awake again, forcing him to jerk back into a sitting position. He couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like a scream. 

Riley still slept soundly and Jay crept to the window. When he peered outside he saw a light flicker on in the old shack on the outskirts of town. Jay frowned and he moved to the window in the kitchen. The form of a man entered the shack and shut the door behind him. Whoever had just entered the shack looked incredibly familiar to Jay, but he couldn’t place whoever it was from so far away.

His mother was asleep in the old chair in the kitchen, her arms still wound tightly around her and her head leaning on the stove. Jay holstered his gun on his back before he slipped past her quietly. 

He crossed the road to stand beside the old schoolhouse where he could get a closer look. The form stepped out again and went around the shack and Jay took another step forward. 

“Oh, hi!” Came a startled voice from beneath him and Jay jumped, almost tripping and falling on the person he had practically stepped on. 

Jay steadied himself against the door of the schoolhouse and looked down, “Connie?” He asked. “What are you doing out here?”

Connie stood and laughed nervously, “Couldn’t sleep. I’m still crammed in with all the other kids in the community house.” She wrung her hands together and smiled at him.

“What are _you_ doing out here?” She asked him and Jay looked away.

“I was just looking around.”

Connie frowned and followed his eyes to the dark mountains and roads. “Looking at what?”

Jay blushed and shifted uncomfortably, “I thought I heard something.” 

“Heard what?”

“I don’t know. It’s dark, you should go back inside.” Jay answered, still not looking at her. 

“You can tell me, Jay.” Connie offered gently. Jay breathed in and he finally looked at her directly.

“I thought I heard something coming from the shack. And then I saw someone.” Jay didn’t want to tell her it had sounded like a scream and that he thought he recognized whoever he had seen there. He glanced at the town around them and tried not to fret over what a terrible liar he was. 

Connie pushed her short blond hair behind her ears, “Where’s Riley?” 

“He’s asleep.” Jay responded quickly, “He’s fine.” 

“Let’s go look then.” Connie suggested. 

“I can just look myself.” Jay answered. His words almost always came out harsher than he meant and he gave a halfhearted smile, worried he had hurt her feelings. 

Connie shrugged, “I can look by myself too, but why not go together?” 

Jay studied her for a moment before he began walking forward, and Connie followed and matched his long stride. 

“We’ll be quick, right? We’ll just look and make sure everything’s okay and we’ll head back.” Jay affirmed and he reached back to make sure his gun was still secure. 

Connie nodded quickly and she pulled her coat tighter around herself, “Yeah, of course.” 

She steadied herself against a rock to keep from falling when Jay turned left abruptly and they approached the shack. 

The old building leaned to one side so far it was a marvel that it hadn’t collapsed yet. Large wood planks were boarded over its windows with jagged nails that bent in all different directions like clawing fingers. Both could see a very faint light peeking through the cracks in the boards. When they crept to the front of the shack the door sat slightly open, beckoning them in.

The howl of a coyote boomed out of the mountains and they both glanced at each other nervously. 

“We’ll be quick.” Connie repeated to Jay and they slipped inside. 

The inside of the shack was just as run down as the outside, the wood was rotted and the floor was covered with stray pieces of scrap metal and dust. However, it was surprisingly empty. There was no table, no beds, and nothing that would explain the scream that Jay was so sure he heard. 

Connie ran her hands across the back of her neck as she crept around the room slowly.

“This is strange.” Connie spoke softly as she examined the walls. She ran a finger across a faint outline of a rectangle on one wall. “Someone used to live here.” She remarked. 

Jay realized she was right, as he looked closer he could see the faint outline of where things used to be, like a drawing that had been erased. 

“I always thought there would be something in here.” Connie told him as she moved gracefully around the small space with a critical eye. “Something odd or just a bunch of junk, but _something.”_

“I guess I was wrong. Maybe I just imagined the sound.” Jay offered, although he didn’t really believe himself.

“Maybe.” Connie answered and she glanced at him over her shoulder. 

She ran her hand along the wall again. Just as Jay was about to suggest they leave, Connie took a sharp breath in and hissed it back out in surprise.

“Look!” She whispered and Jay left his spot by the door to join her. 

Her delicate fingers rested upon a small brass handle. It had been concealed behind a piece of wood that jutted out just slightly. 

“Should we see what it does?” Connie asked. She drummed her fingers against it nervously and chewed the inside of her mouth.

Jay looked back at the door. “It probably doesn’t do anything.” 

“Yeah, but maybe we should check?” She questioned and she stared at Jay, waiting for an answer.

He fiddled with the strap on his back, “Okay, but then we’ll go back.” 

With a careful tug Connie pulled the handle back and a loud grinding noise sputtered to life. The noise continued to groan through the air, and Connie’s eyes widened when the floor beneath them began to shudder and pull apart.

“Whoa!” Jay exclaimed and he grabbed Connie’s hand and pulled them aside before they fell. 

The floor opened and revealed a staircase that descended down into a dark room. Jay and Connie stood still, staring down the steps and listening for any sound.

Connie still held his hand tightly in her own as she collected herself. “Thanks.” 

“It’s probably just more of nothing down there.” Jay muttered and Connie gave no answer as she began to pull him down the stairs. 

When they reached the end of the stairs a long chain hung from the ceiling, just barely in reach. Jay grasped it and pulled the chain down and light illuminated the small room. All around them lay tools of all different shapes and sizes. Some Jay recognized and knew well, some he had only seen in passing from the general store. 

Hundreds of farming tools, hunting tools, and barrels full of guns lined the walls and pushed upwards toward the ceiling. Jay could pick out the tools that had gone missing over the years as they sat there gleaming in the dim light. There were so many Jay would not be able to count them. Every single one was smashed and broken beyond repair. 

Guns lay gutted, their most vital parts gone or mangled. Tools sat bent and worn down, handles were splintered and broken in half. Jay was familiar with almost every tool, but not one was usable anymore. 

“I don’t understand...” Connie began. She reached out and picked up a melted handle from the large pile. 

“We’ve been missing tools and weapons for years now. They must be going here.” Jay answered quietly. He didn’t know why, but he felt a strong sinking feeling growing in his body. It pulled down every organ inside him and made him feel like he was slowly being crushed. There was an inevitable sense of doom falling over him but he couldn’t place the culprit. 

“But why would someone do this?” Connie urged and she dropped the gun like it had bitten her. 

As Jay looked closer he realized the large red symbol painted on each wall, slightly obscured by the piles of stolen tools and weapons. It was a large horned animal, standing great and tall. Jay felt his blood run cold when he realized it was the very same symbol painted on the man they had found dead years ago. 

“You’re not supposed to be here.” Came a quite voice behind them and Jay whirled around with his gun high. 

Connie yelped and stumbled backwards, her back hit something sharp and she winced.

“Who let you in here?” The voice demanded again. He stepped down slowly, the darkness slowly pulling back so that he could be seen in the light. His eyes were red and they looked like they were uncomfortably large for their sockets. His mouth was set in a thin, red line and his large hands were set in fists at his sides. 

“Dad?” Jay asked in disbelief, his hands trembled as he held his gun high at his fathers face. 

“Put that down. Now.” His father demanded. 

He crept down another step. His veins pulsed and bulged and his eyes were somehow too small and too large all at the same time and it made Jay’s heart pound. There was something happening to his father, something pushing and forcing to get out of him that he had never seen before. 

“What is this? What is this place?” Jay asked as his heart sped up. He lowered his gun slightly and stared at his father. 

“Put it down, Jay.” His father demanded and his chest heaved.

Jay trembled and shook his head. “But I don’t understand-“ He began.

When Jay didn’t move his father raised a large, meaty hand and grabbed the gun out of his grasp. He threw it back down and it skidded across the floor and clanked loudly as it joined the pile of weapons. 

Jay stared at his father in a stunned silence. He stared at his gun that lay among the graveyard of broken weapons. “Dad, why are these here? Who did this?” 

He gave no answer as he leered closer; his thin lips drew even thinner as he began to herd them into a corner. “Don’t ask questions about things that ain’t your business.”

“Did you do this?” Jay questioned, he felt sweat break out on his skin and crawl down the back of his neck.

Upon hearing the question the veins in his father’s head surged, they bulged and wriggled under his skin and he took in a deep angry breath in, he seemed to grow at least a foot taller.

His father stared down at them, towering over them and he breathed in slowly. “Get out.” He hissed. 

Jay stared up at him with wide, bewildered eyes. 

“Get. Out.” He said again, and he grabbed Jay by his shoulder and Connie by her hair and shoved them hard toward the door. They stumbled and fell on the stairs and he seethed and grit his teeth. 

“Leave!” He cried. 

Jay grabbed Connie’s hand and they fled back to town, only stopping when they had run out of air and couldn’t go anymore. They stopped back at the schoolhouse and stared at one another.

“Jay…” Connie stammered and Jay shook his head.

“I- I don’t know.” He ran his hands through his thick hair and took a deep breath.

“But why-“ She began again, she wrung her hands together hard, turning them white. 

“I don’t know.” Jay said again. 

“Has he ever-“ She pushed, but Jay stopped her again.

“No.” 

They stood in silence catching their breath as their adrenaline slowly dripped away.

Connie looked to her right and left and she bit the inside of her cheek again, “Are you okay?” 

Jay said nothing, his mind racing far too fast for him to think. In the next instant she stepped forward and hugged him, tucking her head into the gap between his head and his shoulder. 

“Thanks…” Jay said quietly and Connie stepped away quickly like she had done something wrong. 

“Sorry- I just-“

“Jay!” Someone called out and Jay looked up to see his mother leaning out the window of the house. “Get back here!”

Jay cringed and looked back at Connie, but she was already heading back to her own home with her head down. She looked back at him over her shoulder and gave a small, nervous wave. His mother opened the door for him when Jay came back inside and she shut it tightly behind him. 

When she turned back to look at Jay she shook her head disdainfully. Jay took in a breath to speak, but she cut him off with a raised hand.

“Don’t. Just go.”

Jay hovered for a moment, but he knew it was always better not to push his mother and he slipped back into his room. 

Jay shut the door behind him and turned around. Riley was already awake and squinting at him from his nest of blankets. His hair was even wilder when he had been sleeping. In the gentle light Jay could see the dark freckles that dotted his bronze skin and framed his tired eyes. He looked more and more like Jay every day and sometimes it surprised him. 

“Where’d you go?” Riley asked, and then he punctuated his question with a yawn. He rubbed his nose and let his hand fall back down beside his head.

“Nowhere.” Jay answered quietly and he lay down on his side facing Riley.

The moment he felt his body relax Jay felt tears unexpectedly fill his eyes. He blinked rapidly to try and rid them, but they were stubborn and only multiplied in his vision.

“Jay?” Riley asked, concern filling his voice. “Why are you crying?” He questioned softly. He abandoned his nest and crawled to sit beside Jay. 

Jay rubbed at his eyes and breathed in. He didn’t know why, and he wished he could stop. 

When Jay said nothing Riley placed a hand on Jays face and wiped a tear away. “Jay, what’s wrong?” He laid himself over Jay and squeezed him tight. “What is it?” He asked again.

“Will you read to me some more?” Jay asked quietly, his voice came out unsettled and small. 

Riley pulled away with a soft frown and tilted his head at him. “What? Why?” He asked. 

“Please?” Jay asked and Riley waited for a moment before he reached back and grabbed the book from its usual spot. 

He cast another worried glance at Jay, but he lay down beside him and opened the book. “Green leaves rustled in the spring wind as the day began again…” 

Jay shut his eyes and focused on Riley’s voice as his racing brain began to slow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to house_lies_etcetera and ThatForestPrince for the kudos and feedback! It always makes my day and thank you so much again to everyone taking the time to read my story, have a wonderful day!


	4. November, 2264

It was near winter when Jay dragged Riley away from his comics and began to teach him how to use a gun. The air had grown colder, but not by much. Jay could still feel his shirt sticking to his back with sweat every day, so it didn’t seem to matter in his mind. Temperature changes weren’t too drastic in the Mojave and the only reason Jay knew this was because Riley kept reminding him. 

Riley had raised his eyebrows at Jay when he picked up Riley’s old toy BB gun and began instructing him, and his shoulders hunched lower the longer he was pushed to keep practicing.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Riley whined. He hated carrying out tasks he wasn’t good at. He wasn’t getting any reward or positive result and he was growing more impatient with each second that ticked by. 

“Because I love you.” Jay answered simply from where he was standing behind him. “Now try again.”

Riley groaned and lifted the gun, and he felt Jay step behind him and place his hands over his own. 

“Lower your arms a little- there you go.” Jay coaxed and he moved his hands away. “Move your feet farther apart, don’t shrink down like that.” 

Riley took a deep breath and squinted down the muzzle of the gun again. The makeshift target a few feet before him was riddled with tiny marks from missed shots. Sarsaparilla bottles stood proudly in the middle of all the marks, glistening in the light and still fully intact. 

“I’m not gonna hit it.” Riley grumbled and he looked back at Jay with a grimace. 

“Yes you will. I know you will, but you’ve gotta trust me, okay?” Jay asked. He stood tall with his arms crossed over his broad chest. He held the same unwavering confidence and finality as their father, but it was kinder on him. Everything about Jay had the potential to be hard, cold, and unkind, but on him he made it loving and soft without even realizing he was doing it. 

“Okay.” Riley answered quietly, he didn’t want to let Jay down; doing so always left him feeling gritty and sad. Jay was the kind of person that everyone seemed to seek the approval of, even know he seemed to only truly like Riley. 

Riley breathed in slowly and pulled the trigger. He flinched when the loud bang shot through the air and he instinctively shut his eyes tight at the sound. When he slowly pried them open he saw that he had missed once again. 

“That was a good try, Riley.” Jay praised and he placed a hand on his younger brothers shoulder. 

Riley giggled, “I wasn’t even close.” The tiny hole he had made in the slab of wood was at least a foot away from the target. 

“It was still a good try. You’re getting there, buddy.” Jay told him and he flashed him a brilliant smile that was so rare on Jay that all Riley could do for a moment was stare at him. 

Jay took the gun from Riley and began to unload it with practiced, calloused hands. “Just… don’t shut your eyes when you’re pulling the trigger, okay?”

Riley laughed and slumped down on the ground, flexing his tired hands. “Sorry.” 

A soft, cold breeze blew past them as Jay sat down on the ground next to him. As Riley had gotten older he realized Jay was only ever at ease like this with him, and it made him feel incredibly special. 

Riley was silent for a moment before he spoke up, “What’s up with this, Jay?”

Jay looked up, “What do you mean?” 

Riley gestured to the small BB gun Jay was holding, “Teaching me how to shoot, why are you doing this now?” 

His brother shrugged dismissively, “You’ve got to learn at some point.” 

“Yeah, but why now?” Riley pushed, and Jay sighed. 

“This place… it might not always be safe. That’s all.” 

Riley sat up straight and stared at him. “What do you mean? Did something happen?” 

“Yeah… well- I mean no. Maybe.” He stammered and he sighed. “Look I don’t know. I just want you to be safe is all.” 

There was the rustle of footsteps, and when Jay looked up he saw Connie rushing toward him, her hair stuck to the sides of her face with perspiration. She kept her eyes locked down in front of her as she approached them, her eyebrows knit tightly together in a deep frown. Jay stood up, and Riley watched as she scratched at the back of her neck and looked behind her. 

“Are you okay?” Jay asked her, and Connie just shook her head. 

“I need you to come with me.” She answered and when she met Riley’s eyes she smiled nervously. 

“Hey kiddo.” She said, but the brightness she always placed in her voice when she spoke to Riley fell flat. 

Riley waved to her from his spot on the ground and looked at Jay. He felt the urge to jump up and ask what was wrong, but he made himself stay silent. It was hard to tell how serious something was when it came to Connie. She always seemed on edge like she might soon break down and rip all her hair out, often regardless of the situation. 

“What is it?” Jay asked, and Connie tried to smile. 

“Nothing serious, Farmer Carver just needs some help.” When the boys glanced at each other she laughed nervously, “Again. Yeah I know, those old folks.” She wrung her fingers until they turned white as she laughed. 

“Okay.” Jay answered without question, and he began following her down the road with Riley close in tow. 

Connie stopped when she noticed Riley following and she glanced between the brothers. “Maybe he should stay home this time?” She asked Jay. 

Jay looked back at Riley, who was fighting the urge to pout. 

Riley had turned eleven that month and he was sick of being treated like a baby. Jay picked up on this and ruffled his unruly hair, “He’ll be fine. You said it’s nothing serious, right?” 

Connie fidgeted, “Yeah of course.” And she smiled tightly before they continued walking on. 

When they came to the field they all made an instinctive turn, taking the long way around to the farmhouse instead of walking through the long, rickety stalks of corn. They never talked about that night, they never talked about the body or the symbol that Jay tried to convince himself he didn’t see. 

Sometimes when Jay closed his eyes at night he could see the man’s glassy eyes, glowing as they reflected the night sky like two white shells under stagnant water. He tore himself from his thoughts and grabbed Riley’s hand, who scoffed and shrugged away. 

Riley was in his big kid phase where Jay wasn’t allowed to “mother” him anymore, as he put it, and Jay kicked himself mentally for forgetting. It was hard, no longer having a hand to grab onto. 

The door to the old red barn was shut tight and Connie stepped forward first, blocking the way of the boys before they could barge in. 

“I- I don’t…” She began and she stopped and took a deep breath, her words stumbling over each other to the point that she needed to stop and try again. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” 

“Is he hurt?” Jay asked and he reached for the handle but Connie blocked him again. She crossed her arms tight and looked to her left before she spoke.

“No. I don’t think so. He’s just been acting strange- for hours now.” She stepped closer to Jay and lowered her voice. “Do you remember the shed? With the tools?”

Jay said nothing, but of course he remembered. 

Connie sucked in a breath through her teeth. “I think he might be the one doing it. I don’t know why, but he’s in there breaking weapons and I’ve been trying to stop him for hours but he just won’t. He’s all worked up in a fit.” 

“Geez, okay. Let’s check on him then.” Jay answered. 

“What shed? What are you two talking about?” Riley asked and he looked between them expectantly. He was winding a long piece of hay through his fingers to keep his racing mind occupied as he waited. 

Jay rubbed at the back of his head and looked down at Riley. “We just found some broken tools in a shed a couple years back, it’s nothing big.” He offered a reassuring smile and Riley titled his head. 

“Seems big.” He commented and he tied the hay into a knot.

Connie stepped aside and Jay opened the door carefully. She walked in front of him when they entered and offered one of her wide grins to Farmer Carver, who was rummaging through a chest in the corner of the farmhouse. 

“Farmer Carver? I brought Jay.” She began, but he didn’t acknowledge her, he just continued to throw things to the side. 

“No, no, no…” he muttered. “Gotta find them all. Damn things.” 

“Carver?” Jay asked and he crossed the barn and put a hand on his shoulder. Jay had grown so much taller than him over the years of working on his farm, and he had to bend down a bit. 

A small lone lantern flickered on the workbench, and it illuminated big misshapen shadows on the aged walls of the barn. They twisted and danced in contorted shapes as the flame flickered within its glass walls. As Riley watched the flames dance they began to look like people, and he quickly looked away. 

Farmer Carver jerked away sharply and gave no acknowledgment to Jay’s presence. He dug deeper in the chest and pulled out a small knife. It was so puny and ordinary, but Carver lit up like a roaring fire. “Found it! Damn thing, damn thing.” 

“Why were you looking for that?” Jay asked and Carver grabbed a large weight, Jay was surprised Carver could lift it in his old age. 

Carver placed the puny knife down on his workbench and in the next instant he swung a heavy weight down hard against the blade, shattering it and sending shards flying in every direction. 

The metal fragments flew to the ground, skipping on the floor and casting quick shadows across the illuminated wall. Riley flinched and raised a hand to shield his eyes.

“Jay, should we go?” Riley spoke without thinking, his words flooding up his throat and tumbling out of his mouth. He wanted to be brave, but the more the shadows flickered against the wall the larger they grew and he didn’t like it. 

“Are you hurt, Riley?” Jay asked, eyeing Riley and Connie for cuts from the flying debris. 

Riley shook his head. “No I just… got homework.” He said quietly. 

Farmer Carver nodded with satisfaction and slammed the weight down on the blade again, bashing it over and over until Jay put a hand on his shoulder again. 

“Carver? You need to listen to me. You gotta stop doing that.” 

His words were lost on Carver as he grabbed the handle of the blade and threw it against the wall. It crashed and fell into a large, messy pile of broken handles and shattered weapons that Jay hadn’t noticed before. 

Jay felt his patience boil over, at the constant feeling of being at the mercy of others and the secrets they kept. “Why are you doing this?” Jay demanded and Farmer Carver finally looked at him.

“You shouldn’t be here, your shift is over. I’ve got things to find.” He muttered and shoved Jay away. “Stupid, damn things.” He muttered and began rummaging through the chest again. “Maybe I have some hidden away, they’ll have to go.” 

Jay stood still, frustrated and unsure what to say. Connie looked at him and seemed to pick up on this. She took a deep breath and forced her feet to move. 

She crossed the room and knelt down beside Carver, tucking her skirts down so that they were wrapped tight around her legs. “Why do they have to go?” She asked faintly. 

“Because they’re coming.” Carver answered sharply, as if the answer was obvious. The light flickered faster and Riley twitched. 

“Who’s coming?” Connie pushed. She ran her hands down her legs and grasped her ankles. 

“They’re coming and they’ll be furious if we have these.” Carver murmured and he threw another handle at the pile to punctuate his statement. “They don’t want us to fight. If we fight they won’t let us live.” 

Jay felt sweat break out on the back of his neck. “Carver.” He demanded, “Tell us who’s coming. Tell us now.” 

“Ain’t you listening?” Carver yelled and Connie flinched, letting go of her ankles. “They’ll kill us all if we try and use these against them!” 

Jay racked his brain trying to think of someone that could help, someone that would know what to do. Jay never had the luxury of knowing many people he could trust, and all his mind could come up with was his dad. 

He turned to Connie, “I could go get my father, and maybe he’ll know what to do.” Jay offered, and Carver became completely still, like a cord had been run through him and was just drawn tight. 

“No!” He exclaimed and he stormed forward, corralling them all toward the door and wielding the weight he held the whole way. “Not your father, no! He’ll try to stop me. He won’t listen, he doesn’t understand. He thinks he can stop it from happening.” 

Carver glared at Jay and he lifted the weight and slammed it against a small gun. A loud bang rang out through the farmhouse when the weight made contact and Riley covered his ears. 

“Damn thing! Damn thing!” Carver seethed, as the gun did not bend beneath the weight. “Don’t you know they’re coming?” he yelled at the gun and Jay led them out the door silently. 

Connie glanced behind her and then at the boys apologetically. “I thought maybe we could get through to him, but he’s not listening.” 

“What is he talking about?” Riley asked and Jay shook his head. 

“I don’t know, buddy.” 

“But who’s coming?” Riley asked, and Jay began walking back to town, with the other two following. 

“No ones coming Riley, if there was anyone dangerous out there we would have heard about it by now.” Jay answered. 

As he spoke Jay realized that maybe he was saying this less for Riley and more for himself. 

“But he seemed so sure…” Riley began, and he bounced nervously on his heels. 

“I don’t think we’re doing ourselves any favors fretting over it.” Jay began, as he didn’t have much else to offer in a way of comfort. 

“Are you really going to get dad?” Riley asked.

Jay thought about that night in the shed, when his father had found them. He remembered the way his veins had wriggled under his skin and he could still hear his yelling voice in his mind. He remembered how it felt when his father grew ten feet and bore down on him. “No…” He said slowly, he didn’t want to do that to Farmer Carver. Maybe he’d get over it himself.

“Jay…” Connie began softly, “I think there’s more to this.” 

“I think we’re just scaring ourselves, Connie.” Jay answered and he looked down. “I’ll go check on him tomorrow morning, I’ll check on him early.” 

She nodded slowly. “Tell me how he is tomorrow, okay? Come by the schoolhouse tomorrow and let me know. I’ll be worried sick if you don’t.” 

“I will.” Jay responded, and he and Riley walked back to their porch together. 

The boys were quiet for a long time, listening intently to the silence of the night as Riley picked at the peeling paint on the railing. 

“That was weird.” He commented and peeked at Jay. “Kinda scary too.” Jay knew Riley was pushing him to talk, Riley could never help but push and he was never very subtle. 

Jay stared out at the mountain slopes on the outskirts of town. “You okay?” He asked.

Riley shrugged and sat down on the chair on the porch, where he swung his legs back and forth. “Yeah I mean, it’s nothing right?” 

Jay shook his head, “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, Riley. So don’t go worrying about that. Ain’t nothing gonna happen to you.” 

Riley smiled gently and looked down at his hands, where he pulled a chunk of paint apart into tiny pieces. 

“Don’t you believe me?” Jay asked with a frown and Riley nodded quickly. 

“Of course I believe you. You ain’t a liar.” Riley tore the small paint pieces into smaller pieces. 

Riley fell silent and Jay felt worry overcome him. He didn’t want Riley to pull away. 

“I’m gonna get us out of here Riley.” Jay blurted out, and as soon as he saw Riley’s expression lift he continued in a rush, “I swear it, we’ll leave this town, and we’ll go somewhere happy.” 

Riley stared for a moment, before his face broke into a familiar grin. “Where will we go?”

Jay leaned forward on the railing, it creaked ominously but he ignored it. “Where do you want to go?”

“Virginia.” He answered quickly and Jay raised an eyebrow. 

“That was quick.” 

Riley jumped up on the railing, his usual energy quickly returning. Jay felt the urge to remind him to get off the railing before it broke, but he smiled to himself and let it go. 

“I read about it in the books at school, and I know a kid who’s been there.” Riley gazed out at the horizon dreamily, “It sounds real nice.”

Riley looked back at Jay, who was watching him intently. “And I wanna be there with you.”

Jay smiled one of his rare, bright, and beautiful smiles and stood a little straighter. “We could live someplace safe, somewhere on the water.”

Riley nodded earnestly, “And have a garden, we’ll grow flowers.”

Jay felt his heart lift in his chest, up from where it had sunk to his feet and stayed there for so long. He felt it float back up to where it should be, the place where it felt comfortable and right. 

He felt his lungs expand back to the size they should be and fill with air as Riley grinned his brilliant grin at him that made him feel proud and reassured. “It would be a long road getting there,” He began. Even as he spoke he knew his trepidation was nothing more than a façade. 

“But we can do it together!” Riley exclaimed.

Jay leaned back, he could never deny something that made Riley so happy. “Then we will.”

“Promise?” Riley asked.

“Promise.” Jay answered. Riley stuck out his hand, demanding that Jay shake on it. Jay laughed, grasped his hand firmly and shook. 

Riley swung his legs and smiled gleefully, and a few minutes later Riley went to bed, leaving Jay standing alone on the porch. 

Jay looked out at the trails before him, where the road resembled long, jagged insect legs. With each second that passed the pavement seemed to retract, pulling father away from the house and into the mountains.

He frowned to himself, it had always looked accessible, like you could reach the road in just a few steps, but now it looked so far away. 

The road didn’t look close like he thought it did before. Maybe it never had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to omokomo for the kudos and to everyone else reading!


	5. April 6th, 2265

Jay’s back ached as he knelt down in the sand, pulling thick weeds from the earth and tending to the ground just as he had for years now. Thorns pushed against the skin of his hands, but the callouses he had there were thick enough that he barely felt it. He grabbed a small spade and began to dig shallow holes for the seeds he was planting. 

“You ever get sick of doing that?”

When he looked up Riley was standing on the fence, leaning down over it and watching him. He had his head propped up on one hand as he drummed his fingers on the wood. Momentum had already built up inside him and it threatened to boil over, even in the short moments that he had been waiting for Jay to look up. 

Jay squinted at Riley and wiped the sweat from his forehead, “Ain’t you supposed to be in school?” 

Riley grinned a bright smile and dimples broke out on the sides of his mouth. He snorted and laughed, “We got out an hour ago, Jay.”

Jay looked up at the sky and saw that the sun had already began to dip below the horizon, he had been staring down at the ground for so long he hadn’t noticed how quickly time had passed. 

A few children from the schoolhouse called out to Riley, but he waved them away and turned back to Jay, “When’s the last time you took a break?” He asked. 

“Don’t worry about me, kid.” Jay answered and he brushed his tired hands on the coarse fabric of his overalls. He stood up and ruffled Riley’s hair, and Riley shut his eyes and scrunched his nose in response. “Go back to your friends.”

“Nah I’ve been with them all day. Come on, I got us sarsaparillas.” 

Jay opened his mouth to object, he still had work to do. However Riley had already jumped down from the fence and swung his bag over his shoulders. 

“Race you to the house!” He called with glee, and in the next instant he began running. Jay had no earthly idea how the kid always had so much energy. 

He hesitated for a moment. Jay worried that Farmer Carver would be angry if he left before his work was done, but when he looked over his shoulder Carver was staring unblinking at the horizon. He hadn’t even noticed Jay walking away. Jay stared at Farmer Carver for a few long moments. Worry gnawed at his sides but he turned away and followed Riley. 

When Jay approached the porch Riley was leaning out toward him, grasping the railing with one hand and holding out a sarsaparilla bottle to him with the other. 

“Go on, take it.” Riley said, and Jay took the bottle. Riley swung a leg over the railing and leaned against the column that supported it. 

Jay grimaced when Riley bit the bottle cap off and took a long drink. “You’re gonna break your teeth.” He warned. 

Riley smiled that smile that always meant he had heard him, but he wasn’t going to take his advice seriously. Jay took a drink from his own bottle after carefully prying off the cap with his pocketknife. 

He reached out and handed the pocketknife to Riley, “Keep it.” He said. “Next time use it.”

“Thanks.” Riley said with a grin and he placed it carefully in his pocket.

“How was school?” Jay asked and Riley shrugged nonchalantly. 

“It was fine, we’re learning about agriculture and hunting.” Riley sat up a little straighter. “But I think you could teach me all that yourself.” 

Jay leaned back on the stairs and stretched his long legs out in front of him. “I ain’t a teacher, Riley.” He rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. 

Riley drew a knee to his chest and rested his arm against it. “Well that’s weird, cause you taught me everything I know.”

Jay smiled just a bit and shook his head, taking another drink from his bottle. The sweet sticky drink coated his mouth and he swished it around to try and dislodge the sand from between his teeth. No matter how he tried to avoid it, he was always covered in sand after work. 

“I can’t wait for us to get out of here.” Riley said and Jay looked up.

“Virginia still the plan?” He asked.

Riley nodded enthusiastically, “Course, I would’ve let you know if the plan changed,” he answered with a grin. 

He fidgeted and scooted a little closer to Jay, who looked at him quizzically. 

“Do you mind it?” Riley asked and he looked down and picked at the sticker on the bottle he was holding. 

Jay frowned, “Mind what?” 

“Staying here so long. For me.” Riley ripped a line down the sticker and Jay remained silent, surprised by the question. Riley had never talked about this before.

Riley sighed and continued, expecting no response from Jay. “I know you’re still here because of me, because you’re waiting for me to be old enough for us to travel. You could’ve left sooner if it weren’t for me. And you wouldn’t have to keep working on that farm every day.” Riley looked up at Jay and met his eyes, “Do you- I mean… doesn’t that piss you off?”

Jay stared at Riley, stunned. He had watched Riley grow up, his pride in him growing more and more each day, knowing no limit or bounds. 

He vividly remembered the first time Riley smiled at him. The memory still remained in his brain just as strong, even as Riley now smiled at him all the time. He remembered his first word, his first steps. 

He remembered how whenever he would get home from work late he would find Riley curled at the kitchen table, having fallen asleep waiting for him to get home.  
There was nothing Jay had, or could ever have that he wouldn’t given up gladly if it meant Riley could move forward. Staying in town a few years longer with Riley seemed like such a minor sacrifice that he had never even really thought about it. 

As much as Jay wanted to say all these things, his words just didn’t know how to manifest past his thoughts. “No.” He answered simply. 

Riley looked down and went silent, so Jay pushed himself to try again. “Riley, listen… I wouldn’t change a thing.” 

Riley looked up at Jay and in the next moment he beamed and began laughing. His shoulders relaxed and he leaned back again. “Well, me neither.” He told Jay, and Jay smiled with him.

The door of their house slammed and they jumped a bit. Their mother stepped out and stared at them. Her face was drawn seriously and when Riley waved to her she didn’t wave back.  
She looked to her left and right before she raised a hand, motioning to them silently to come inside. Both Riley and Jay just stared at her in confusion for a moment, as she had never been so quite before. She usually moved through the world loudly, slamming doors behind her and kicking things out of her way, but now she moved with careful calculation and motioned to them sharply again. 

“What’s wrong?” Riley asked and their mother shook her head. 

Jay glanced at his brother before he stood and walked into the house, Riley quickly following suit. When they entered the house their mother shut the door behind them quickly. The air around her was ridged and tight, and her sons watched with wide eyes as she raced to the safe and pulled out a shotgun. 

“Mom, what’s going on?” Jay asked as she raced to the window where the curtains were drawn and peered outside.  
“They’re coming.” She stated with tight, clipped words.

“Who’s coming?” Jay asked with a frown and he followed her to the window. 

He could just make out flames coming from the mountains, and they moved slowly down the slopes toward the town. Jay felt his pulse quicken and he looked at his mother, “What-“ 

The flames grew closer and she turned quickly, “Where’s your father?” She gripped the shotgun and breathed in deeply. 

“I saw him by the schoolhouse.” Riley told her and she hurried to the door. 

“You two stay close together and follow me.” She ordered and swung the door open. Riley stared up at Jay, dumbfounded, but Jay simply grabbed his hand and followed their mother out the door. 

She crept across the road quickly with her sons in tow, there was a loud shout from the crowd coming down the mountains and she grabbed Jay, forcing her sons down behind an overgrown bush. 

“Who is it?” Riley questioned and his voice quivered. He held Jay’s hand in a tight grip that would have hurt if Jay were paying attention. Jay peered through the gangly branches as his mother pressed her back against a nearby house and peered out again. 

A large red flag swayed high in the wind, and as Jay squinted he realized the symbol looked all too familiar, it was the great horned animal he had seen in the shed. It was the very same symbol that had been painted in blood beneath the man’s lifeless body that haunting night in the field. His heart stuttered. 

“We need to leave.” He said with a rush of dread and when he looked back to his mother she sneered. 

“You two stay together, no matter what. No splitting up, you hear me?” She grabbed Jay’s arm roughly and yanked them quickly to the schoolhouse, crouching behind cover as they went. 

When she forced the door to the schoolhouse open, Jay saw everyone he had known since he was a child, all cowering in corners with big glassy eyes. They flinched and stepped back when his mother pushed the door open. Connie stood surrounded by the parentless children in the town. They grasped her legs desperately and wiped their noses on her dress as they cried. 

There was a loud crash, and when Jay tore his gaze away he saw his father throw Farmer Carver against the wall with one big hand. His father rushed to pin him against the wood when his back collided with the surface. He held Carver up by his throat and he squirmed in his tight grasp, his eyes alight with fear. 

Jay’s eyes widened, “Dad, what are you doing?” He exclaimed and he looked at Riley who was just as surprised. 

“You can’t stop them now, they’re already here.” Farmer Carver told him in a pleading tone. Their father turned purple and slammed him against the wall again.

“Tell me how you did it. Tell me how they knew!” He demanded and Carver rolled his head to the side to look at the townspeople around him. His dark, weathered eyes focused on Riley. Riley squirmed nervously. 

“They know where you’ll be. They know you won’t be able to fight back.” He answered meekly. His voice sounded cornered and resigned and his small weathered body trembled. “I left the last of your weapons in the shed, I made sure you wouldn’t put up a fight.” His words shook as they squirmed in the air.

“You fucking traitor.” He hissed. He pressed Carver further into the rough nails that stuck out in the wall but Carver gave no reaction to the pain.

“I had to do it! To save us all! You know what they do to towns that try and stop them!” Carver demanded and he struggled to breathe in the hold Jay’s father had him in. “Did you really think you fight them? We never would have had a chance!”

“You’ve condemned us all!” His father roared and his veins pulsed in his head like thick power lines. 

Farmer Carver shook his head sadly. The fight visibly left his body as he sagged against the wall. “We’ve always been condemned.” 

His father swung his fist hard against the man’s head and something snapped. Carver went limp in his hands and fell to the ground dead.

Their father stared down at the body with his jaw clenched tight as cries began to break out through the townspeople, their fear grew louder as they realized that they had no weapons.  
Their mother stormed over to him and with a loud crack she slapped him hard in the face, leaving an angry red mark across his pale skin. 

“You damned fool.” She spat. “How many times?” She demanded and she smacked his hand down when he tried to raise it to touch the place where she had hit him. “How many times did I warn you? How many times did I tell you that you couldn’t just leave?” 

She was yelling now, her words whipping him in the face and ricocheting off the walls. “I told you they’d find you, I told you they’d want blood for abandoning them.” She seethed and stared at him disdainfully. 

She stepped back and looked down at him and her voice dropped to a low growl. “And now your children are going to perish. They will suffer and die and it will all be because of you. You stupid, selfish fool.” 

His father wouldn’t look at her. He wouldn’t look at anyone. As the others trapped in the schoolhouse mobbed him and demanded answers he continued to look down, his hands dangling at his sides as the red hand mark on his face burned. Jay stared as the embodiment of fear throughout his whole childhood stood useless, nothing more than a broken man.  
The boys mother crossed her arms, her muscles undulating furiously under her skin as she watched the others panic. Riley grasped her arm desperately and when she looked over his eyes were wide. 

“What’s going to happen to us?” He whispered. 

“We’re going to die.” She answered simply and held her shotgun high. “Just as I always knew we would.” She cocked her gun with a snap as Riley stepped back in shock. “But you’re going to run.” 

“What if they catch us?” Jay asked and he stared at the shotgun in her hands. 

“You fight. If there are too many of them you fight anyway.” She pulled a knife from her belt and put it in Jay’s hands. “And you pray it’ll be quick.” 

Jay grasped Riley’s hand and in the next moment the door was splintered to pieces. There were screams and the crack of his mothers gun rang out twice before a spear was thrown through her heart, and she fell to the ground. Jay watched as her tight grip on the shotgun unfurled and her fingers went limp. 

“Mom!” Riley cried and he knelt beside her, tears filling his eyes as he reached for her. Jay’s heart sank, as he knew she was already gone. 

The glint of another spear flew into Jay’s vision and he was snapped harshly into action, given no time to grieve or even process what had happened. “Run Riley!” He yelled, as men poured through the door with sticks that burned hot with fire. 

Riley obeyed and turned to the nearby window but was quickly met with a metallic fist colliding with his stomach. He gasped and fell to his knees, his lungs heaved in attempt to refill with air and allow him to rise, but all he could do was wheeze and scramble on the dusty ground. 

Jay looked back and horror flooded him as he watched Riley claw at the ground beneath him. He slashed at the men with the knife he had been given but they were quicker than him, and his blade met nothing but air.

Riley thrust a hand forward to pull himself away but he cried out in pain when an armored boot dropped down upon his small hand. The armored man reached down and grabbed his arm, crushing the limb in his iron grip and hoisting him up from the ground. 

“Let me go!” Riley yelled, but his hands were quickly bound with harsh, thick rope.

Jay tried to get to his brother, but he was quickly surrounded. He struggled as his hands were bound as well, and the soldiers began to throw them out the door. 

“Riley….” Jay gasped, he reached for his brother but was held back when the rough rope dug into his skin and pulled him back. 

Jay strained to reach out an arm through his binds, he reached and reached to try and grasp Riley’s unharmed hand. Panic filled him deep into his bones as he was dragged away while another soldier restrained his crying brother. 

“Riley, I’m sorry.” Jay croaked. 

A man stepped forward through the shattered wood and assessed the small crowd he had gathered outside. An array of teeth haloed his head in a crown, his yellow eyes shone brightly and they glowed even stronger at the scene before him and all the potential it held. His eyes landed on the boy’s father, who stood helplessly as soldiers surrounded him. Jay’s father gazed up slowly at the man and the doom in his expression deepened, but his fear was quickly masked with a defiant glare. 

The commander grinned, “There you are old friend.” 

Flames roared and stretched upwards as Jay took in his surroundings, climbing over one another to be the first to reach the sky. The armored men stood calmly in a circle around them, wielding spears and machetes that winked in the firelight. The symbol of the animal that had haunted Jay’s dreams was painted proudly on each soldier’s chest. Around Jay the townspeople stood with their hands bound as they shivered in the cold. 

Beside him Connie was straining with all her might to squeeze her hands from their binds. Deep red blood seeped into the rope around her hands as she sliced her skin with each pull and twist, yet she continued to struggle. The boy’s father stood a hulking mass in the shadows. Jay glanced nervously at Riley, who was standing a few feet away. 

The commander took a broad step toward Riley, smirking when the child shrunk back. He lifted his machete to Riley’s chin and forced his head up so that their eyes met. “I am Amadeus. We are the Legion, and we are here to ensure that you answer for your crimes against Caesar.” 

“Don’t touch him.” Jay hissed, and the man looked at him unimpressed. 

“A worthy example of the insolence the infects this town.” Amadeus answered calmly. He yanked his blade back, and a small trail of blood drizzled down Riley’s neck. He stepped away and began pacing back and forth before the small crowd. His eyes glinted and his mouth broke out into a wide toothy grin. 

“An insolent town filled with even more insolent inhabitants. We have come to cleanse you, we have come to allow you a chance to atone.”

Connie whimpered quietly as her binds turned a deeper shade of red and one of the Legion soldiers placed the sharp point of his spear against her back to silence her. She quickly hid her hands in the folds of her dress. 

“You have let a beast live among you, a traitor of the Legion who thought he could roam free.” Amadeus seethed as he stopped in front of Jay’s father. 

“Until this moment this town has been steadfast in its disloyalty. It remains the embodiment of sin that it has always been.” He grinned and stepped forward, snatching Connie’s bloodied hands and propelling them up so that they were exposed in the moonlight. “Until now.” 

Connie gasped and tried to wriggle away, yet his iron grip only caused her more pain. 

“A select few of you will survive, you will take this lesson and pass it down through the remaining dwindling years of your fruitless life.” His voice continued as it slithered in and out of Jay’s mind, “Those who live will remember this night.”

Amadeus dropped Connie’s hands and forced her against the blade of the soldier standing in wait. The sharp metal pierced through her side and Connie screamed out into the night. Her face contorted in pain as she looked up and met the glinting yellow eyes of Amadeus. 

As the pain reverberated through her, Connie thought she would feel fear. She thought the terror that was always looming over her would consume her in this moment. Yet, as she looked into the monster’s yellow eyes and felt her blood cover her, Connie realized she was not afraid. 

While he kept her there impaled on the spear she held his gaze, and just for a moment her eyes focused on his. “Someone will stop you,” She murmured, her voice shaky as she took in a sharp breath. Blood trickled from the corners of her mouth and she grit her teeth. “You wretched thing.” She spat. She hissed and winced in pain when Amadeus grabbed her throat. 

“Such a shame,” He laughed, “we could have made use of you.” He pulled her off the spear and threw her to the ground.

Connie fell to her knees, clutching her side and wetting the dirt beneath her with pools of blood and drops of tears. 

“No!” Jay cried out. He struggled against his binds and tried with all his might to rush to her side, but the man with the crown of teeth pointed his weapon at him with a sick laugh.  
“You cannot stop this process, it will only prolong it. You all must pay for this man’s betrayal.” 

Once he realized he couldn’t move, all Jay could do was stare. He stared as her mouth parted slightly and froze there. He stared, as the yellow dress she always wore turned crimson. He stared as her ever-present smile left her face and went somewhere unknown. 

Jay thought about how he would never watch her run gleefully through the fields in town again. 

Amadeus regarded Connie apathetically and nudged her limp body with his spiked boot. He raised his brow and turned back with a hungry expression. “Bring him forward.”

Their father was pulled from the crowd by two soldiers and shoved to his knees in the sand. He did not struggle, nor he did not say a word. He glared at Amadeus with cold and hateful eyes, but not once did he look upon either of his sons. 

“Wait! Please don’t do this.” Riley begged. His words were broken with panic. 

The commander’s crown of teeth glinted as he ignored Riley’s words and grinned, “I have been coveting moment this for so long.” Amadeus crouched in front of his father, who stared back with unwavering eyes. 

“Dad…” Riley whispered into the night, and just as the sound had crawled out into the air the knife was plunged into the man’s heart all the way to its hilt. 

His eyes widened, as if he had not been expecting to feel any pain. He opened his mouth and Riley thought he would finally speak. Yet he simply coughed and red blood splattered forth and painted Amadeus’s face, and Amadeus grinned in response. Their father raised his head to the sky and gazed up at the stars as blood drifted from his chest and coated his body. Then he fell to the ground with a thud and did not move again. He offered no last words, no apologies, and no last act of courage. He simply died quicker than his son could comprehend. Riley gasped and began to sob as he looked away from the bodies on the ground. 

“Now, for his children.”

Jay’s heart sunk down to the core of the earth, screaming in fear all the way down. His brain spun as it tried to make sense of the scene that unraveled before him. Each pulse beat faster by the second as it prepared to do what was necessary to save himself and his brother. 

“No. No you can’t do this. Please don’t do this.” Riley’s young voice shook as he pleaded to be heard. The two were dragged to the middle of the circle. The bodies had been pulled away as to not take away from their own performance, but the extensive pools of blood remained. 

Riley was pushed before Jay who now rested before him on his knees. Terror flooded him when a blade was forced into his small palm and he quickly threw it to the ground like the object itself was rigged to explode. 

Amadeus chuckled and thrust the knife forward again, “You will kill him. You will atone.”

“I won’t do it!” He yelled, tears streamed from his eyes and sobs racked his body. Jay reached for his hand, but he pulled away in panic.

“Riley…” Jay said quietly, his voice surging forth all the memories the boy had of that very voice calming him, supporting him, and laughing with him. He could hear his voice soothing him after he had a nightmare. He recognized its deep and familiar rhythm as he reminded Riley to do his homework before he gathered his farming tools and left for the day, working for hours while Riley waited by the window for him to return. 

Riley looked down at his brother, whose expression was surprisingly calm. “It’s okay.” He whispered and Riley sobbed again. 

“I can’t… I can’t do it Jay.” Riley couldn’t think, his lungs were getting smaller by the second. “I can’t breathe Jay, I can’t breathe.” He whimpered and looked for anywhere they could run. 

“It’s okay Riley, you’re okay.” Jay reached up and took Riley’s smaller hand in his own. His skin was warm and his grip was strong, he tugged on Riley gently. 

“No…” Riley whimpered. “No Jay, no you can’t let this happen.” 

Jay shook his head and Riley sobbed, “We were supposed to get out of here Jay. Don’t you remember? We were gonna to live on the water, remember? We were gonna have flowers.” Riley’s words were cut off when a cry racked through him again. “Jay you promised me.” 

Jay squeezed his hand. “You'll get there, Riley. I know you will.” 

Riley snatched his hand away and cried out, “I don’t wanna go without you! You promised!” 

Jay’s defeated expression filled him with anger, anger that Jay would just let himself die. “You promised me, Jay!” Tears streamed down Riley’s face and his nose began to run.

“You, you made life worth living.” Jay said quietly as he searched Riley’s face, his eyes saddened at his tears.

“Jay, please do something. Please make this stop.” Riley begged. He felt doom descending down around him like big heavy waves of water that rose up past his chin and crawled down his throat to fill his insides. He wanted to paddle and swim against its presence, yet he found himself doing nothing but sinking. 

Riley said nothing, simply releasing another tortured cry into the night. Slowly Jay let go of Riley’s hand, and Riley felt all his stability slip away. 

On the side not visible by the Legion, Jay reached out and grasped the knife in his own hand. He offered one last small smile.

“I’ll never stop loving you, no matter where I am.” He murmured, and jerked his hand forward, pulling Riley’s limp hand with him and jabbing the blade into his own heart. 

Time stopped as if it were just as shocked as the witnesses themselves. Riley opened his mouth to scream in agony, yet no sound came as he dropped to the ground. Somewhere Amadeus was laughing. Riley crawled to his brother’s side and held Jay’s head in his small arms. 

“Jay!” He tired to yell but instead merely squeaked. 

They could have made it, if they had just run away, if they had known. 

Jay looked up at Riley and smiled. Riley’s lips were chapped, and Jay wondered if Riley had been getting enough water. He had meant to dig another well. He thought he had more time. He felt his body begin to slow down, like his blood had been replaced with sand. His lungs closed tighter and he shuddered in Riley’s arms. 

He hoped Riley would be able to find water himself, but who would help him build a well if he needed to? 

Jay felt his body stiffen, he knew he couldn’t move anymore. How strange it felt, to have spent his whole life wishing he could stop moving, and now that he could he didn’t have enough time left to rest. He reached a hand up to ruffle Riley’s hair, but it stopped and fell to his side before he could make contact. A tear fell from Riley’s eyes and hit the skin of his face. He closed his eyes and felt Riley shake him. 

“Jay, wait.” He cried, “Jay, please don’t leave me here.” 

Jay didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want to go anywhere without Riley, but he was leaving nonetheless. 

He fought to stay just a moment longer, just one more moment with Riley didn’t seem like too much to ask, but it was.

He looked into Riley’s eyes and breathed in. And then Jay was gone.


	6. April 7th, 2265

The next morning had come and gone by the time Riley awoke on the parched ground. He released a pained groan into the dirt beneath his face and pried open his dried eyes. 

Thick black smoke had surrounded him while he slept and Riley could barely see more than a foot in front of him. He reached out a purple, bruised hand into the air, grasping to feel if anything was in front of him, but his hand flailed about without touching anything. The smoke swirled before him before settling again, a colorless blanket over his vision. 

Polluted air snuck up his nose and rushed down his throat as Riley tried to gain his bearings. It gripped his lungs and Riley coughed harshly as he struggled to sit up. 

When Riley raised his head an enormous cloud of black smoke swirled in a spiral above him. It stretched miles up, puffing out into the atmosphere and grasping vengefully at the white sky above it. 

For a moment all Riley could do was stare in awe. With shaky arms he pushed himself up and stood on wobbly legs. 

Riley made it one step, and then a second when his exhausted body could stay up no more and he fell to the ground with a thud. He shuddered when the sharp gravel beneath him dug into the palms of his tattered hands and pushed into the fresh and vulnerable wounds residing there. 

He was so tired. His whole body was shaking and when he tried to stand his legs quaked and he collapsed again. 

Riley squinted through the clouds, there was a form standing before him but he couldn’t tell what it was. He stuck out a hand and took a small step forward. When he grasped at nothing but smoke he tentatively drew a little closer, and his hand met rough, splintery wood. 

Riley frowned and moved his hand forward, and his hand collided with scratchy fabric. When he closed his hand around the form it was solid and stiff, it was a leg. 

He yelped and pulled his hand back, the smoke cleared for just a moment and he saw that it was a man before him, tied up and bound tight on a large wooden cross. 

As Riley walked further he saw that the gruesome scene of the night before was now displayed in front of him. 

Charred bodies still hot with fire were bound to a number of crosses, and they were placed purposefully about his hometown like beacons. The smell of burning flesh along with the thick smoke made Riley gag. He would have thrown up, however the contents of his stomach were already long empty. 

Riley wrapped his weak arms tight across his waist and turned around and around. He tried to find a vantage point to figure out which part of town he was standing in, but he failed. Each home was little more than charred sticks and piles of smoldering ash. 

He recognized the road that led to his home, and his heart sunk when he realized it too was gone. His old house still harbored powerful orange flames as what was left burned. The flames burst into the colorless sky and turned to small wisps of grey smoke. Riley felt the hopelessness inside him grow stronger at the sight. 

Riley began to walk through the wreckage, his mind silent as he moved through the town like a ghost. The old general store was destroyed, it's contents tossed and splattered around it like the guts of a smashed radroach. 

“Jay’s going to be upset about the general store,” Riley thought to himself. “He’s gonna worry about where we’ll get clothes now.” 

Riley stopped short in his tracks. “Jay…” 

The memory of the previous night flooded back to him all at once. He remembered watching in horror as Jay’s eyes lost focus. He remembered trying to run before being knocked out.  
It hit him in full force, merciless like a big heavy wave of freezing water that was upturned directly on his bare heart. 

“Jay…” Riley gasped and his heart folded in on itself. He began to run, his muscles begged him to stop but he refused. 

Riley sprinted with the little strength he had left to the center of town. His lungs burned and stretched painfully, but he held back the fits of coughs that begged to be released.  
Although, for all his determination, he fell to his knees in despair again when he reached the place it had begun.

He thought there would be more bodies. He thought he would see his father, or Connie, lying in the sand. Yet they were gone, and Riley didn’t look up from the ground. He didn’t want to see them strung on crosses above him. 

A body lay on the ground a few feet away from him, and Riley crawled toward it on his hands and knees. The body lay face down, and a small part of Riley was relieved he had been given the small solace of not having to look him in the face. Dark burns lacerated the corpse and there was a deep stab wound in his chest. 

He was lifeless and half burned, devoid of hopeful words or loving lessons as he simply lay there. The body's back was broad at the shoulders. The fingers of his hands were permanently curled tight as if ready to protect even in death. Riley didn't need to look any closer to know it was Jay. 

Riley released an involuntary and terrible sound, like a small wounded animal that had been kicked. It reverberated from his damaged lungs and out into the air, where no one was there to hear him. 

He fell to his knees to a soft patch of sand and began to dig at the ground furiously. 

_“You remember, don’t you?” Jay asked him. Riley’s crying had woken him up, and he sat calmly at his bedside. Jay’s eyelids sagged with fatigue and he yawned before he took Riley’s hand in his own._

_"Of course I do.” Riley mumbled faintly, still shaken from the nightmare that had plagued him. He held the blanket up over his mouth to try and mask the uneasiness in his expression. Jay smiled kindly, with an understanding that he always seemed to have when it came to Riley._

His fingers ached and screamed in pain, his nails chipped on rock, and still he dug and dug even as sand built up under his nails and pushed into his skin. The coarse grains got stuck in his wounds and his bruised knuckles ached, but he didn’t care. 

_“Then say it with me.” Jay replied and he ran a gentle hand over Riley’s head. “It’ll keep the nightmares away, I promise.” The bags under Jay’s eyes were darker than usual. Riley felt a pang of guilt for waking him up, but Jay didn’t show any sign that he minded._

_Riley hid his smile under the blanket. “No Jay, I’m too old for that.”_

_“You don’t get too old for these things, Riley.” Jay told him gently and he scooted forward and crossed his legs._

Riley released another wounded, inhuman cry as he worked further into the earth. His fingers felt like they were going to snap in two. Sand began to slip back into the hole he was making and he angrily tossed a handful over his shoulder. He wasn’t making enough progress. Riley reached out for a spade a few feet away and began to dig with it.

_“I’m not too old, so neither are you. Come on, there’s no sense arguing, I’m not going back to sleep until you say it with me.” Jay said. He took Riley’s other hand in his own and Riley let the blanket slip from his face, revealing the smile he had been trying to cover._

Riley felt himself break. His mind tried to block the memory and force him to rest, but he continued to push forward with a stubbornness he was unaware he bore. 

_“Wherever I go.” Riley began, his words soft and clear even as his nightmare still wandered in the back of his thoughts._

His fingers were bleeding. His wounds were full of sand, and his vision was beginning to turn black, but he pushed on.

 _Jay grinned at him, and for a moment Riley felt like he was looking into a mirror. “To the sun, or through the wild land.” Jay followed, and he waited for Riley to continue._

Riley didn’t know how long he had been digging, it didn’t matter to him, and with a strength only born of desperation he dragged Jay’s body into the pathetic shallow grave he had created. Riley knew his brother deserved more, but he had no more to give. 

_When Riley began again Jay followed, and they recited the last line together. “I’ll never stop loving you, no matter where I am.”_

He quickly covered the open grave with the nearby pile of unearthed sand and dirt. He tried with all his might, but he still couldn’t bring himself to look at his brother’s face. He grabbed a scrap piece of wood from the ground, and stuck it in the sand before the grave. Then his brain finally won, and he collapsed on the ground again. 

It was then that the awaited tears arrived in full strength and the child lay alone in the middle of his destroyed town. Beside his brother’s grave he began to wail. 

_Jay flopped back down on his own blankets and closed his tired eyes. “Don’t forget it.” Jay murmured before he drifted off to sleep._

He cried and sobbed and screamed for what was lost and the sound disappeared into the dark, lonely, and smoke filled air. 

_Riley giggled and turned on his side, shutting his eyes and reciting the lines again under his breath._

Riley cried until he was too dehydrated to produce any more tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to JacksHorriblePA for the bookmark and to Proxy_Prone for the kudos, it keeps me going! Lastly another thank you to everyone else reading and leaving kudos :)


	7. April 8th, 2265

A heavy silence hung over the small group of miners as they took in the scene before them. Each watched solemnly as thick smoke billowed from what was once a small town about a mile away. 

“Shit…” A young miner muttered, slowly slicing a knife through the silence. 

The other miners turned and looked at her, simply offering blank stares. 

“Wow… such wisdom.” A second miner scoffed from behind her. He was stocky and wore his hat low over his eyes. He shook his head and leaned forward on his pickaxe lazily. 

She glared at him, “Gee, when’s the last time you ever said anything wise? Twenty-two fifty?” 

She nudged a scrawny man beside her with her shoulder, “You hearing this?”

“Must have been the Legion.” He mussed. “Think we’re next?” 

“If we were they’d already be here.” She answered. “We’re right next door.” 

A woman in the back with silver hair lowered her binoculars. Her name was Thelma, and she had an authoritative air about her wherever she went. She nudged a miner aside and stood before the small crowd. “Alright. Enough gawking. Someone’s going to go down there and look for survivors. In the meantime the rest of us are getting back to work.” 

He shook his head in disbelief. “So what? Now, after a week of back breaking work in the ass end of the mines, you want us to risk our lives just to look through piles of rubble?” 

“There may be survivors. We’ll never know otherwise, and I say we don’t risk leaving anyone behind.” Thelma answered. 

"Are you serious Thelma? Ain't no Legion tribes that leave behind survivors. All we’re gonna find are piles of bones, and-.” 

“That’s enough. I’m in charge here, we can spare one person.” Thelma cut him off before he could finish. Her mind had already been made up the moment she saw the smoke. 

“Who’s going then?” The scrawny miner asked as he finally diverted his attention back to the workers beside him.

Thelma turned to the last man in the group, who had yet to say a word. He looked up when she turned to him, as if he already knew she would choose him. “Joseph will go.” 

Joseph studied her. To the rest of the crowd her expression was steadfast, but he could see the subtle pleading in her eyes. 

"Looks like you won the lottery, eh Joseph?" The stocky miner joked and nudged Joseph with his sharply pointed elbow. 

“I could go too.” The youngest miner offered, but Thelma shook her head. 

“No, I don’t want you going down there by yourself.” Thelma stated and she looked through her binoculars again.

She looked down and conceded. “Alright then.” She said with a sigh and she pushed a strand of hair from her face.

"Well I sure can’t go. Wrecks like that haunt you, I swear.” Added the stocky miner. 

The youngest rolled her eyes. "Don't act like you've ever actually been down in a ruin like that.” 

"I have." He argued defensively.

"That's bull and you know it.” She insisted. 

"How long ago did this happen?" Joseph questioned, successfully cutting off the pairs bickering. His wrinkled face was drawn seriously and his mouth was pressed into a thin line. 

"Wait, you’re actually going down there?" The stocky miner asked with an expression that displayed how crazy he thought Joseph was. 

"How long?" Joseph asked again with a bit more force.

"A day, tops. Considering how thick the smoke still is." Thelma responded. 

Thelma placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s worth a try. There’ll be plenty of work left for you when you get back.” 

The rest of the group stood in disturbed silence. 

“If you’re sure.” The youngest miner offered, and began heading back down the hill toward the main lodge. 

The stocky miner looked between Thelma and Joseph and turned away too. 

“Bring back some souvenirs.” He called over his shoulder. 

Joseph placed his axe against an old withered tree and secured his rifle against his back.

“Don’t forget a mask.” Thelma reminded a matter-of-factly as he began to walk away. 

Joseph waved a hand behind him without turning round and continued down. It wasn’t until he reached the town that he finally stopped and strapped on his mask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos, you're all the best!


	8. April 8th, 2265

Curling smoke billowed higher than mountains over Joseph as he shifted through the piles of rubble. He placed each step carefully as he walked to avoid stepping on any bodies and getting burned flesh stuck to the soles of his shoes. 

Joseph gazed over the destruction with a glare, the Legion were animals and little more. 

He heard rubble shift from somewhere before him and Joseph looked up, but he saw nothing. There was a snap beneath his boot, and he looked down. A willowy bone stuck out from the dirt, it had splintered and shattered where Joseph’s weight pressed against it. Small white shards now contrasted against the black ash. 

He grimaced and continued on, he wanted to believe someone had lived. Even through his mask the haunting smell of burnt flesh seeped into his lungs. The destruction of the town was nauseating. 

Bodies lay scattered in varying states of dismemberment, all of them mangled and burned. A new wave of disgust flooded Joseph’s mind when he saw the corpses strung up on crosses.

“Ple-…” A choked voice fought to call out and Joseph followed the sound blindly. One of the bodies tied to a cross was still gripping to his life. The man’s mouth had been half fused shut by the heat and the little clothing he had left was melted into his body. He tried to move his head but could only blink his remaining eye. 

“Plea-“ The man gasped and released a quiet and strangled sob of pain.

Joseph raised his gun to the man’s head pulled the trigger. In seconds the body relaxed from its tightened state and slumped. He rubbed his head and looked away. There was no one here. It was impractical to think anyone would survive this. 

Joseph turned to walk away, but out of the corner of his eye he saw something. He was sure his mind was playing tricks on him when he turned around, but then he saw it again. A hunched form sat immobile a few feet away. Most likely another body, but this one seemed so small.

He held his gun at his side and walked toward the shape cautiously. He heard the form sniffle and realized it was a boy. He sat leaning against a post in the ground and he didn’t look up with Joseph approached him. 

He cleared his throat once, and then a second time a bit louder, but Riley still didn’t acknowledge him. The child turned a worn pocketknife over and over in his muddy hands without looking up. 

Joseph stood still before Riley and watched him stare blankly at the pocketknife. He leaned forward, “Are you hurt boy?” 

Riley said nothing and Joseph was beginning to feel unsure if he had even heard him. Joseph pulled the mask off so that Riley could see his face. 

“Come on, we need to get you out of here.” Joseph tried a second time.

A thick silence settled over the two again.

Joseph sighed heavily and knelt down beside him. “I’m sorry about this. I know it hurts, but we need to leave.”

Riley continued to turn the pocketknife. His hands began to shake. 

Joseph leaned forward impatiently, reaching for Riley’s arm, “Come on now son.”

Riley unsheathed the blade of the pocketknife and aimed it toward him. “Don’t touch me.” He snarled. He had that western accent that all nearby farmers seemed to have. 

Joseph was unthreatened and studied the pathetic knife. He felt something tug at him inside. “You can’t stay here, you’ll die.” Joseph said. He remained immobile on the ground before Riley. 

“I ain’t leaving him.” Riley responded sharply. His voice remained surprisingly steady and his face was drawn angrily, his eyes cold and unwavering. 

Joseph momentarily wondered what that meant, but then noticed the shallow grave the child sat beside. Riley’s eyes remained trained onto his own and the two sat very still, watching one another in a tense silence. 

Joseph was quite for a long painful moment, the stillness only broken when Riley filled with defiant anger towards his silence. 

“I said I ain’t leaving! So go away!” He yelled and his grip tightened on his small knife. 

Joseph still said nothing, his expression had changed to one of pity and it just made Riley all that much angrier. 

“Go away!” He was screaming now as his stoic and threatening aura crumbled around him. “I don’t want you here!” 

Joseph reached out again cautiously and placed a steady hand on Riley’s shoulder. Very slowly Riley slumped. The pocketknife dropped from his hand and landed soundlessly onto the ground beneath them. He sucked in a sharp breath of air. Riley didn’t cry, he just shook. 

“He’s... he’s dead.” He sobbed. “They killed everybody.”

Riley put a hand over his mouth and tried to muffle the harsh cries that wracked through his body. He hissed in sharply for each breath and his lungs boiled and stung with the effort.  
Joseph remained silent. He kept his steady hand on Riley’s shoulder, tethering him.

Riley’s arms sagged at his sides and he seemed to deflate. His shaking calmed and he stared at the ground again with unfocused eyes. 

“Your family wouldn’t want you to stay here.”

There was no response, but Joseph felt that he had heard him this time. 

It wasn’t safe to be here anymore. Joseph stood and hooked his hands under Riley’s armpits. Riley tried to squirm away, but he tightened his hold and hoisted him to his feet.  
Riley staggered uncertainly and Joseph had to catch his shoulders to keep him upright. They walked out of the smoke and began up the long road to the mining lodge. 

The two moved in silence with Joseph leading, and Riley followed him mindlessly, stumbling often and lagging behind. Joseph tried to keep a brisk pace, but often had to stop to allow Riley to catch up.

A half-mile in Joseph noticed Riley shiver, and he took off his large overcoat and draped it around his shoulders. 

When they entered the mining lodge Thelma was already waiting. She dropped what she was doing and rushed forward, stopping short before them. “He a survivor?” Thelma questioned and she looked between the two.

Joseph nodded wordlessly. A few other miners looked up and stared. 

Riley took no notice of the strangers eyeing him, and he stared off into the distance with dead eyes and an expressionless face. 

Thelma squatted down before Riley and laced her hands together. “What’s your name sweetie?” She whispered and titled her head to try and catch his seemingly undead gaze.  
Riley kept his eyes to the ground for a few long moments. 

His lip quivered. “I’m… I’m Riley.” He choked out, as if that fact had been lost on him until that moment. 

Thelma smiled at him kindly and placed a hand on his back. “It’s nice to meet you, Riley.”

He tried to respond, but his lips were painfully dry and no sound came out. The nauseating feeling of thirst, hunger, and exhaustion finally hit him in full force. He stumbled and Thelma caught him in her arms. 

“You’re safe now.” She murmured. 

Riley buried his face into her neck and wished that he still had the ability to cry. He felt the sensation of the old man’s heavy coat around his shoulders and the women’s arms around him, and it settled over him in a wave. He tried to fight to remain conscious, but the darkness was pulling him in with promises of peace. 

“Do you mean it?” He asked, and then he passed out.


	9. December, 2272

Riley had been avoiding mirrors since the night Jay died. He had loved it before, but now he hated how much he looked like his brother. He hated that every time he looked at himself he saw Jay, hurt and dying. 

He’d look into his own eyes and all he could see was Jay staring back, his eyes unfocused and afraid as he slipped away. He would try and wipe crumbs from his face before a mirror and he would see Jay again as blood started to pool in the corners of his mouth. It made Riley physically ill, and he had been successful at not looking until tonight. 

He had trudged to the room he shared in the mines after his shift ended, and he saw that someone had put up a mirror. It was right in the middle of the wall, placed directly in his eye line, taunting him. Riley hadn’t been ready, he wasn’t prepared or warned. Yet right as he opened the door with an exhausted sigh, Jay was there in the mirror. He hadn’t looked at himself so directly in years, and for a moment all he could do was stand there dumbly and stare with wide and bewildered eyes. 

Riley’s heart lurched forward right out of his chest and onto the floor. For just a moment it felt like Jay was there and his heart soared before his mind realized how impossible that was and slapped his heart back to the ground. He knew it wasn’t Jay, he knew it was just his own reflection he was staring at. Although he wanted it to be Jay so badly that his heart broke at the reality that it wasn’t. 

Riley began to cry, standing there holding the doorknob in one hand, one foot through the door and the other out. 

The reflection in the mirror began to cry too, and just as Riley’s heart was starting to slow he saw a red glint there in the mirror. The eyes in the mirror began to lose focus and blood began to drip from the corners of his mouth. Horror filled Riley as he saw the image of Jay dying before him again. 

Riley jerked his gaze away from the mirror and put his hands over his eyes. He wiped the tears from his cheeks angrily. His heart slammed against his ears and his head ached. He couldn’t stay in that room anymore, confined by the thick walls. Riley stumbled out like a drunken soldier and slammed his back against the wall outside, breathing heavily. 

The cold night air whirled around him and he tried to catch his breath. He stuck his hands in his hair and breathed, and just as he caught his breath Joseph turned the corner and approached him. Riley ran a hand over his face and Joseph stopped before him. He scratched at his beard, staring at Riley. For a few long seconds they stood in silence. Finally he couldn’t hold back his curiosity anymore.

“Haven’t seen you in months.” Riley commented with a weak smile he didn’t even slightly feel. His voice shook with the fear he still felt and he shut his mouth tight. 

He had lost weight in the few years he had been at the mines. Food didn’t taste like much to him anymore, and his willowy limbs shivered in the air. 

“You don’t spend much time outside your bunk.” Joseph remarked gruffly and Riley sank back a little. 

“I do my work.” He said defensively, his smile fading away. 

“Yes, you do.” Joseph answered. 

Riley squirmed under his calculating gaze, and Joseph took in a breath and released it. 

“Get some sleep.” He said and began to walk past him. 

“Where are you going?” Riley asked, not wanting to be alone while his heart still pounded the way it did.

“There’s someone at the front gate asking for work.”

“Who is it?” Riley asked and Joseph studied him, taken aback by Riley’s sudden interest. Riley laughed nervously, he looked back at the door of his bunk and fear shot through him. 

“I’m just curious.” He offered and Joseph frowned. Riley looked away, Joseph never bought his fake smiles and false laughs and it made it difficult for him to hide things. 

“Are you alright?” He asked and Riley nodded hurriedly. 

“Of course I am, I was just askin’.” 

“Come on then.” Joseph said gruffly and turned and left. 

Riley pushed himself off the wall and followed. He shoved his hands in the pockets of the coat Joseph had given him the day they met. As he left he tried not to look at the door again. 

They approached the front gate where a girl with frizzy red hair stood talking to Thelma. Riley had never seen someone with that much hair. It puffed out around her head and she pushed it away from her face in annoyance when a breeze blew it back over her shoulder. She noticed Riley staring at her and she stared back. She squared her shoulders and tapped her foot impatiently. 

“I’m sorry but we can’t help you. We don’t have the space.” Thelma told the girl, her voice apologetic but firm. 

She crossed and then uncrossed her arms nervously, “I can work. I’ll do any job you want.” 

Thelma noticed Riley behind her and turned to him. 

“Do you need something, Riley? We’re almost done here.” She said, and Riley watched the girl’s eyes dart between them. 

Thelma turned and saw the girl still standing there. “Like I said, we just don’t have the resources to support another person.” 

Riley frowned at Thelma, “You took me in.” 

Thelma shook her head at him, “That was years ago, we don’t have the same flexibility we did then.”

Riley stepped forward and put his hand on the gate. From behind the sharp, rusted metal she looked at him again, and for a moment he could see that she was afraid. 

“What do you want from us?” He questioned quietly, and she furrowed her brows at him. 

“…I need to eat.” She answered and her shoulders slumped a little. 

When Thelma didn’t say anything she took a small step away and let go of the fence. Riley’s heart stuttered nervously. 

“I know her.” He lied, and Thelma stared at him in surprise. 

“You do?” She asked. 

The girl’s head snapped up and she gazed at him, trying to mask her shock. She took a desperate, hopeful step forward and grasped the fence again. 

“Yeah.” Riley answered, hoping that she wouldn’t ask for any details, as he didn’t have any to give. 

“How?” Thelma pushed and Riley put his other hand on the fence. 

“She used to live in my old town, and she left with a caravan a few years before the raid.” 

Thelma turned to the girl, “That true?” She demanded. 

“Yes.” She answered, saying very little. She shot a curious glance at Riley.

“What caravan?” Joseph asked, unconvinced. 

“Walker Caravans.” She offered vaguely. 

Thelma looked back at Riley, “Can you vouch for her?” 

“She’s a hard worker.” Riley stated, hoping that was true.

Thelma had never known him to be a liar, and to his relief she didn’t ask any more questions. 

She looked at him for a moment before she nodded, and unlocked the gate. The girl rushed in quickly, like she was afraid Thelma would change her mind and slam it shut before she could get in. 

“Just because you have someone to vouch for you, we’ll give you a chance.” Thelma stepped forward and looked down at her, “Don’t make me regret that.” 

She crossed her arms tight and nodded. “You won’t.” 

Thelma and Joseph walked away, casting pensive glances over their shoulders. 

When the two were alone Riley rubbed his neck and smiled at her. 

“What’s uh, what’s your name?” He asked and laughed a little at the absurdity of the situation he had gotten himself into. Riley hadn’t been looking for trouble, but after today he was glad for the distraction.

She frowned at him, “Why did you say that? You could get yourself kicked out.” 

“I'm Riley.” He offered, avoiding the question. She stuck a hand in her hair, and when she pulled it back out she had brought a few strands with her. 

“Agnes.” She told Riley and he held out a hand for her to shake. 

She looked over Riley’s shoulder to make sure no one was watching. “We’re supposed to know each other already.” She reminded him and Riley let his hand fall back to his side. 

“Oh, right.” He answered and a small laugh escaped him. 

“Have you ever actually worked with any caravans?” Riley asked further, the weight of his lie beginning to rest on him fully. 

Agnes said nothing and Riley had his answer. His stomach sank. He knew how Thelma felt about lying, and he had gone and done it without thinking. Yet he couldn’t just send her away, not when he knew what it was like out there. 

“Well, come with me. I’ll show you where you’ll sleep.” Riley said and she followed him back to the lodges. A few miners stared at her and she stared right back, daring them to say something. 

Riley noticed this and laughed awkwardly, “They’re wary of newcomers.” 

Agnes continued to stare and Riley gave the miners a half-hearted wave.

“Don’t take it personal.” He said. 

Riley rushed them to the lodge and shut the door, cutting off her glare with the other miners. He had forgotten about the mirror that was now in the room and he quickly took it down, trying with all his might to avoid the reflection. 

Agnes peered at him curiously as she stood awkwardly by the door. She looked like she wanted to ask but she didn’t, and he was very grateful. 

Riley stuck the mirror behind a bed and pointed her to an empty bunk. Agnes sat down in the middle of the flimsy mattress carefully. She had a small backpack in one hand, but that had been all she brought. 

Riley slumped on his own bed across the room. They sat in silence for a long moment before his deep-set inclination to talk overpowered how much he wanted to sleep. 

“Work starts in the morning, you’ll probably be mining rock like the rest of us.” 

She looked up and Riley strung his fingers together. 

“It’s not that bad.” He continued quietly, his energy leaving him fast. 

“That’s fine.” Agnes answered. 

Riley drummed his fingers against his knees. She had a calm sense about her, like the world could spin as fast as it wanted and she wouldn’t feel the need to spin with it. Agnes wasn’t nearly as bothered by silence as Riley, and so he was first to speak again. 

“Are you hungry?” He asked and Agnes regarded him for a moment and nodded. 

Her stomach gnawed at her painfully and she felt rush of relief as she watched Riley pull a box out from under his bed. 

“I uh… I keep these for bad days.” He inched over to Agnes carefully and stretched out a boney arm, offering her a box of small pre-packed cakes. 

“Just don’t tell anyone they’re here or they’ll all want one.” Riley said bashfully and he grinned when Agnes took the box. 

“Where’d you even get them from?” She questioned, already tearing the box open. 

“It’s rare, but when we get them I save them here. It’s nice to have on days like this.” 

Agnes ate quickly. She tried to restrain herself from eating too fast and making herself sick, but she couldn’t help it. 

“Are you new to the Mojave?” Riley asked and she nodded. 

“Are you?” She asked him in return, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth. 

Riley shook his head. “No, I was born here.”

“Where’s your old town?” She asked and Riley stiffened. 

“It’s… not around anymore.” He replied and looked down. 

“If it’s part of my lie I should know something about it.” Agnes pushed and Riley sighed.

“I’m sorry… I just don’t want to talk about it. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

He looked away from Agnes and back to the mirror, his eyes fixating sadly on the jaunty wooden frame. Agnes followed his gaze to the mirror. When she caught Riley’s gaze he looked away, wrapping his thin arms around himself. 

“You don’t have to talk about it.” She said and she stood up, walking to the mirror and picking it up. 

Riley’s eyes widened, “What are you doing?” 

She went to the door, opened it and put the mirror outside. Then she shut the door tight and returned to her bed. She sat down and pushed her back against the wall, drawing her knees to her chest. 

“It was bothering you.” She stated simply and shrugged. 

Riley gazed at her for a moment before his mouth split into a genuine grin. 

He shook his head. “Wow,” was all he said and then he flopped onto his back, laughing gently. 

Riley reached down and grabbed another box from under his bed. He tossed one to Agnes before a few miners crossed through the door, and they both hid the boxes behind their backs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for the kudos!


	10. November, 2280

When Riley’s shift ended he ran out of the mines and rushed back to his bunk where he knew Agnes would be. He barreled through the door and there she was, laying on her bunk with her arms draped over the side, listening intently to the radio. The familiar voice of the host cranked from the speakers, spinning out the news and peppering it with charming words of love and romance. 

Riley’s face broke into a handsome grin and he walked to the windowsill. He leaned against the frame and worked to catch his breath. “Admit it, you’re in love with the radio host.” 

Agnes glared at Riley and tossed a pillow at him, then leaned forward and switched off the radio. 

“How was your shift?” She asked, rolling onto her back and staring at the ceiling. 

Riley pulled a cigarette from the pack in his coat pocket. He offered one to Agnes, but she waved it away. 

“Good.” He stated nonchalantly. “Yours starts early next morning, I think.” 

“Did you get enough sleep?” Agnes asked and she craned her neck to look at him. Riley took a long drag from his cigarette instead of answering. 

He stubbed his cigarette on the windowsill and his eyes lit up. “The caravans are here, wanna go check them out?” He asked. 

Before she could answer Riley was already out the door, and she pushed herself off her bed to follow him. 

Riley took off running, and soon Agnes was close behind him, trying to match his pace. He always moved fast, like he was trying to catch something invisible in front of him. Riley flew down the road, whizzing past tired workers with a big, dumb grin plastered on his face as Agnes hurried behind him. He whirled around a corner, skidding and almost colliding with a wall. 

An old light post stood proudly in the center of the road, its lights long burnt out and Riley grabbed it with one hand, spinning and turning to run to the left where their usual path led.

“Wait up, Riley!” Agnes called, but Riley had been working all day and now he needed to feel free. 

They sprinted faster, sending dust flying out in swirls behind them. Agnes burst out laughing again when Riley dodged out of the way of Thelma, who was shaking her head at them. For a quick, fleeting moment Riley was a child again, running nowhere important simply because it felt good to fly. 

They skidded to a stop at the mouth of the mines, where the small mountain they were on dipped down to winding roads. Agnes stopped a little too late and collided with Riley, her face hitting his upper back. Riley laughed and grabbed her arms before she slipped. 

“Why… do you always… do that?” Agnes asked, huffing to regain her breath as Riley stood looking down at the roads with his hands on his hips like an action hero. 

Riley jumped down from the ledge with a small, careless thud. His feet slid a bit under him but he grinned up at her, fearless as always. He held out his hand to Agnes. 

“Come on.” He urged and Agnes crossed her arms. 

“You’re going to fall and break you’re neck, jumping down like that.” She commented breathlessly. She leaned down and narrowed her eyes at his outstretched hand. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Riley laughed. Agnes took his hand and he helped her down, it was never long before she followed him. 

They worked their way down the mountain and toward the caravans that had set up shop just outside the mining facility. Riley approached the caravan with Agnes in tow. A gruff looking man watched them as they approached, and when he saw that it was Riley he turned back to his newspaper. 

“What’ve you got today?” Riley asked. 

The man grunted, “You’re here all the time asking that.” 

Agnes frowned at Riley, as she didn’t know he came here that often. 

Riley shrugged. “Fair enough. Got any news for me, then?” 

Agnes stepped forward and eyed his wares. It was all weapons and some scattered pieces of armor. 

“Nope.” He answered. 

“Come on there’s gotta be something.” Riley urged. He didn’t get much news up in the mines and it drove him crazy to never hear any interesting stories. 

“Not unless you’re gonna take that job.” He said. 

“What job?” Agnes asked and the man gazed at Riley from over his newspaper. 

“The courier job?” He answered with a quizzical glance at Riley. “What, you haven’t heard? It’s all he talks to me about. Always coming here and asking for news about it.” 

Agnes turned to Riley. “No, I haven’t heard about that.” 

Riley smiled nervously and the man huffed. “Well they’re still looking for couriers. Why don’t you take the job and stop bothering me every week?”

Agnes rubbed her forehead and glared at Riley. “We’re safe here. Thanks though.” She told the vendor.

“Right, thanks. Good luck with the sales.” Riley said and they walked away, heading back up the mountain. 

As they passed through the gates Riley flopped down on the ground and lit another cigarette. Agnes had planned to keep walking, but with one quick glance she joined him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to take that job?” She asked and Riley fidgeted with his lighter. 

“Didn’t know how to tell you.” He murmured. 

“The wasteland is dangerous, Riley.” Agnes stated and Riley nodded. 

“Yeah, it is.” 

Agnes sat back a little. She thought maybe she got her point through to him, but then Riley gave her a familiar smile and a sidelong glance. 

“Good money, though.” He continued. 

Agnes leaned forward and frowned at him. Riley never listened. “What are you even being paid to do?” 

“It’s nothing too dangerous. Someone’s just hiring some couriers to make deliveries to the Strip.” 

“Deliveries of what?”

“I don’t know, just some junk.” Riley answered with a dismissive shrug.

“Were you going to tell me you’re leaving?” She pushed and Riley looked down. 

“You know I went to school for years?” He asked and Agnes crossed her arms.

“Don’t change the subject, Riley.” Agnes said. 

Riley breathed in hard through his cigarette. “I went to class in this little schoolhouse for years back in my old town. And what good did it do? Now I just break rock.” 

He tried to laugh but his voice cracked and he shook his head remorsefully. 

“You still sound like a farmer.” Agnes remarked, and Riley blew out a think stream of smoke. 

“I’ve never felt this lost before.” Riley said. He stared out at the miles of mountain before him. “I used to have a home, where I felt this ease without even knowing it. It actually felt like it was mine, like I could relax and breathe, and now no matter what I do it just feels like my lungs are getting smaller every day.” 

“And now it’s gone. It’s gone and it’s not mine anymore, and I thought maybe this place could be home too, but it can’t be.” Riley continued, and rubbed his eyes with one hand. 

Agnes was quiet for a moment as her stomach churned. 

“I’m just floating around without belonging anywhere, and it just makes me feel worse to stay in one place that doesn’t feel like home and try to convince myself that it is.” Riley concluded. 

She wanted to remind him how bad of an idea that was, how it would be so much smarter to stay. Yet, she knew he wouldn’t listen. 

Riley existed in the world like sand. There was no holding onto him for long before he slipped through your fingers. It would have been a wiser choice of her to let him go, to let him run rampant wherever he wanted and stay where she was safe. But she loved him. He was her only friend, and all she wanted to do was try and keep up whenever he flew away. 

“I know.” 

“I have to leave here.” Riley muttered, the exhaustion finally leaking from his voice enough for her to hear it. 

“Yeah, I know.” Agnes said again. She could feel his restlessness. It was a part of him just as much as his blood.

He used to be more to ease than this, and she missed it. He used to live more effortlessly, moving through each day like it was exciting. Now he moved anxiously like nothing that happened was enough. 

The air suddenly turned cold around her, and Agnes felt her throat tighten. She pulled her knees to her chest and sucked in a breath through her nose. 

“I don’t know if I can ever stay in one place for very long.” He murmured and Agnes poked at a scab on her knee. 

“I wish I could talk you out of it.” She said quietly. 

“I’ll always come back.” He offered. 

Riley put an arm around her shoulders, but she kept her own arms drawn tight around her knees. 

“I’m coming with you.” She murmured and Riley gazed at her for a moment, and then beamed. 

“We could see the Strip together.” He mused and Agnes nodded. 

“And then you’ll get your fill of adventure, and we can come back here.” 

Agnes reached inside Riley’s jacket and touched the name that he had stitched there in deep blue. The words were crooked and some were bigger than others as Riley didn’t have much practice with stitching. 

She traced her fingers across the letters, spelling out the name “Jay.” She could still remember how happy he had been when she brought him the string and proposed the idea of stitching his brother’s name in to his coat. 

“Maybe you should stitch my name in there too, so I’ll always be with you too.” She half joked and Riley frowned at her. 

“You're here, Agnes.” He said quietly, his voice saddening a bit and she continued to study the name. “You already are with me.” 

Agnes let her hand drop back into her lap and shrugged. “Just don’t want you to forget where home is if you’re so set on taking off.” 

Riley pulled a stray twig from her hair gently and sat up. “We’re comin’ right back Agnes, I promise.” 

She managed a smile and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Yeah. We’ll come right back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Lusine, Owl_You_Doing, and guests for the kudos!


	11. October, 2281

Primm was a quiet town that seemed peaceful, and as Riley approached it he had a feeling the inhabitants liked it to stay that way. Night had fallen by the time Agnes and Riley crossed the large highway that lead the towns center, and the glow of the town was so soft and weak that Agnes had to hold Riley’s hand to keep him from falling. He couldn’t see very well at night and still he insisted on pressing on. 

It was going to be an adventure they’d always remember and he had told Agnes that in a long excited rush of words. Agnes simply remained silent and tugged him carefully behind her as he rambled. 

Once they crossed the bridge they made their way to the building that their assignment said to meet in, but Riley stopped abruptly and stared at a structure around the building across the road. It was a long wooden trail that curved high in the air and dropped back down. 

“What do you think that’s for?” He asked Agnes with a grin. The excitement he carried was palpable. 

“Don’t know.” Agnes said honestly. She had heard about people creating weird structures for fun before the war, but she didn’t know what any of them were called. 

She stood beside him and kept a tight hold on his hand. Agnes didn’t want to let him go. “Maybe we could ask someone.” She offered and he beamed at her, making her feel like she had just said something incredibly wonderful. 

“What do you think it was like back then?” Riley asked. 

“Before the war?” Agnes questioned and he nodded. “I guess I try not to think about it.”

“Really?” Riley glanced at her in surprise. “I think about it all the time.” 

Agnes smiled gently, affection pulling at the sides of her mouth. “I think that’s the main difference between us.” 

Riley grinned back at her and Agnes fiddled with her gun.

“Just makes it harder to live in the wasteland if you think of what it should’ve been.” She thought aloud and Riley shook his head. 

“It’s nice to think about though. I imagine it was beautiful. Full of life and enough safety to stretch your wings.” Riley mused. 

“When did you get so poetic?” She asked with a nudge, but for a moment Agnes could see it in her mind. A world full of color and joy and she could almost imagine that feeling of safety and belonging. Agnes felt a little hope bloom in her heart. 

“I wonder what he would’ve thought of it.” Riley said quietly and Agnes looked at her feet. She knew who Riley meant. 

“Will you write about this in your next letter?” Agnes asked gently and she gestured to the structure before her. 

Riley’s eyes were a bit watery when he answered. “Yeah, I think he’d like to hear about it. He never got to see anything but our town.” 

Agnes drifted her hand over the stack of letters in her bag. Riley had been writing them at least a year before she met him, there were so many that they made her bag puff out a bit and she constantly wondered what he planned to do with them all. She was curious about them, but she had never read a single one. They were written for his brother, and Agnes had already heard enough about Jay to feel like she knew him. 

They stared out into the stars and Agnes found herself wishing that she could pause time and stay exactly where they were, a place with no running or working where everything felt safe and they could dream of happier times. 

But then Riley did what he always did, momentum built up inside him and he started to squirm. 

“Let’s get going.” He urged and bounced on his feet a little. 

Agnes sighed and studied him. She wished he would stay here with her, she wished he wasn’t running all the time. 

“Alright.” She said, and she followed him into the building. 

When they stepped inside a man in overalls approached them and Riley sprang to action right away. 

“Howdy.” He said with a grin and the man nodded back. Riley glanced at her, brimming with glee as if the most exciting adventure in the whole world was about to start. 

“You the couriers I hired?” He asked and he pulled out a clipboard. 

“Sure are!” Riley answered and Agnes offered a small smile when the man studied the pair. 

“Well alright then. Glad to see this delivery service has so much pep.” 

He went to a safe and when he returned he held a chess piece in one hand and a poker chip in the other. The man turned to Agnes. 

“You courier five?” He asked and she dragged a nervous hand through her hair.

“Must be.” 

He then turned to Riley, “And that must make you courier six. Hold out your hands, I don’t got all day.”

Agnes reached out and took the chess piece, and he dropped the silvery chip into Riley’s waiting hand. 

“Now that that’s settled all we got left to do is go over your route.” 

He took out a map and showed Agnes a circled path that would take her to the Strip.

“It’s a fairly safe trail, just watch out for coyotes’ as you make your way through.”

Agnes studied the map closely and stuck her hand in her hand again. It got caught on a few knots and she dragged it through hard. She watched cautiously as he then turned to Riley and showed him the map as well. 

“Alright courier six, and you’ll be heading to New Vegas starting at the town of Goodsprings.” 

“We’re not taking the same route?” Agnes asked, an invasive feeling of nervousness dripping into her mind. 

The man shook his head. “No, the boss wants you all on different routes.” 

He shrugged his shoulders, “Should be safe enough, just keep your gun handy and don’t let anything surround you.” 

Agnes glanced at Riley but he didn’t look worried, he never did. 

Riley thanked him and they stepped back out of the building. The pair could see four other couriers dispersing in different directions and they knew it was time to start on their way. 

Agnes turned to Riley with a gentle frown lining her face. “I don’t like that we’ll be so far from each other.” 

Riley smiled at Agnes and pulled her against him. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and over her mass of curly hair, holding her close in the cold and dark evening air. 

“It’ll be fine, I promise.” He told her and Agnes sighed into his shoulder. 

“I’ll be waiting for you at the Strip.” She mumbled into his clothes and she felt him nod his head. 

“And I’ll be there.” He pulled back and she let him go. 

He began to walk away and Agnes felt unprecedented doom fill her heart. It pressed down against her head and felt so heavy that she thought she would plummet down into the earth. Unexplained panic filled her chest and she couldn’t contain it. 

“Riley, wait!” She stammered, the words coming out much louder than she meant. 

Riley turned back to her quizzically. His messy hair ruffled slightly in the wind and the tips of his ears that stuck out were red in the cold. 

“Yeah?” He asked and grinned that joyful, kind, and beautiful grin. 

“I just… I guess I got jitters.” Agnes answered and blinked hard. 

Riley laughed a little. 

“Love you, Agnes.” Riley called as he began to walk away again. 

Agnes watched him retreat and ran her fingers over the crisp edges of the letters in her bag, making sure they were safe. He waved to her as his form began to blur in the darkness, and then she couldn’t see him anymore. 

“I love you, too.” She whispered to herself as visions of Riley running through the mines faster than she could catch him danced in her mind. 

Riley let his hand fall back down to his side once he figured he was out of sight. He stuck the chip in his chest pocket and closed it tight to ensure its safety. It would be a long walk, but he would get to see so much that it all felt worth it, even without the payment. As he treaded further he felt his lungs expand and his mind flutter. He surveyed the wasteland with a longing; there were so many things to be found. 

Riley walked for almost an hour when he came across a long winding path between the mountains. He looked for a way around it, but he quickly realized he would have to go through. It was dark, but he knew which way he needed to go. 

He tripped a couple times over stray rocks, but continued on unfazed. As he crept further down through the mountain he saw something bright before him, something white that stood out in the dark. The canyon narrowed and Riley could only continue forward. He took his weapon out of its holster as he approached, and he slowly realized that it was a person. They were standing there still, in his path and waiting for him. 

It was a man, and the white color had been part of the suit jacket he was wearing. It looked fancier than any clothing Riley had ever seen, making the man appear even stranger than before. He flicked a lighter to life with a quick flick of his thumb. The flame lit his face just briefly and illuminated his features ominously. 

“Been looking for you, pal.” He said simply. 

Riley opened his mouth to speak but then something large and heavy slammed against the back of his head and he fell to the ground. His mind spun and he tried to grasp his gun from where he dropped it, but whoever knocked him in the head was taking it from him. 

And then there were hands around him, tying his wrists and holding him down no matter how hard he tried to wriggle from their grasp. The man before him in the coat simply watched. He didn’t move a muscle as Riley was subdued. 

Riley felt himself be half picked up, and then he was being dragged out of the mountains. Through his hazy vision he stared at the man in the checkered coat, and the man stared back. He took a long drag from his cigarette and watched Riley be pulled away with cold and calculating eyes. Riley stared right back into his chilling gaze. He tried to remain conscious, but he was hit again and he felt himself go limp. 

They dragged him carelessly up to a graveyard and dropped him in the dirt. Riley lay there with his heart pounding in his ears. As his consciousness slowly regained itself he felt his body jerk in fear, and he quickly began struggling against his bonds. 

“Think he’s done nappin’ boss.” Riley heard a man say gruffly. 

As the blur in his eyes began to fade Riley saw that he was kneeling before a grave, a few miles ahead the Strip glowed and teased him for not making it.

The man in the patterned coat took another thoughtful drag from his cigarette as he regarded Riley silently. Riley felt dread at the finality in his eyes, and he knew that whatever he was going to do, he already had his mind made. He stubbed his cigarette with the end of his shiny black shoe. 

“Been waiting out here for almost four fuckin’ hours already.” One of the henchmen commented gruffly.

"You got him, now where’s our cut?” The second follower asked. 

The man glared back and frowned dangerously. "Your cut? Your cut is that I don't make you dig a second grave for yourself.” 

He turned to his crony fully, not even slightly worried about Riley trying to escape. He was clearly confident enough that Riley wouldn’t be able to get far. 

"Your scare tactics might work on the ruddy faced kids you call a gang but not me, dig?” He sneered and took a menacing step toward the man, who said nothing in return. 

The man turned back and gazed down at Riley’s bound form with disdain. “If you were gonna survive this encounter I’d say get a new job, this clearly ain’t your skill set.” 

Riley tried to squirm away as the man stepped closer and looked down at him. One of his henchmen raised the shovel threateningly and he stilled. 

Their eyes met and Riley could see the cold set of his expression. The look that told Riley he had done this many times before without issue, and that he was about to do it again. 

“It’s a shame you didn’t play it safe and stay out of this scene.” He told Riley and pulled out the chip that Riley had been meant to deliver. “But you’re in my way, so I have to say your time has come.” 

Riley glared back at him. “You just kill anyone that gets in your way?” 

“You got bad luck kid. Or maybe you’re just bad news. You probably should have thought of that.” He answered and Riley squirmed again. 

The man had enough of talking and pulled a small handgun from his suit pocket and Riley stilled. 

“If not me it would’ve been someone else that got you.” He told Riley evenly. He pointed the gun at Riley’s forehead. 

Riley thought about Agnes. Either she was hurt too or she was waiting from him at the Strip with her heart sinking more each second. Pain filled him and he wanted to scream. 

“Truth is, kid,” The man said as his finger traced over the guns golden trigger. “The game was rigged from the start.” 

White filled his vision, a loud bang pierced his eardrums, and Riley fell to the ground. Riley went in and out of consciousness and he was vaguely aware of dirt being shoveled over him as muffled noises went on around his head. His ears screamed, blood poured, and his vision went from white to black. 

Time ticked past he lay paralyzed in his bed of dirt. His ears rang at a deafening volume and clouded his mind. A crown of crimson gore caked his head and seeped out of his skull. His vision swirled and swam as his blood flowed into the mud beneath his immobile body and painted the earth red. 

He stared up at the twinkling stars in the moonlit sky and blinked slowly, Riley struggled to think but all he could do was open and close his eyes calmly. He could feel his heart fighting within his rib cage to pump blood. Yet, even as the organ tried to save him, it just couldn’t remember how to function. Riley didn’t understand what it was fighting so hard for.

A sense of calm washed over him as he lay there bleeding, as his own blood began to blanket his body in a warmth and stickiness that he failed to recognize as sickening. The moon was just so beautiful, and he felt so fuzzy. A heavy sensation had begun to spread through him; it started at his feet and slowly worked its way up to his knees. 

It was the hands of time, and it had wrapped its fingers around his feet and was slowly taking a possessive hold of him. As time strengthened its grip the heavy feeling crawled up Riley’s legs. He gazed up at the moon languidly; he felt at peace as his eyes gradually began to lose their light. 

An unknown force in his mind was wrestling to get free, trying to tell him something important. A shallow, slow breath worked its way into his lungs and seeped back out.  
His mind sputtered and spun as it grasped at that something in his thoughts, that needle poking through his consciousness. It was straining to get somewhere. It was grasping for him.

_“You’re going to die.”_

The words struck through the courier’s mind and across his spine like a second gunshot. The sense of tranquility he had felt had been quickly snuffed out and replaced with unadulterated terror. 

_“No… No…”_

His heart began to pulse in his chest to match with the horror that reverberated through every cell in his body. Riley did not want to die. 

Riley tried to open his mouth to scream for help, yet his lips refused to part. His body was not responding to the pained pleas, it had left him all alone. 

Hopelessness clenched at his heart and grinned its wide and patronizing smile at his rag doll-like self. 

He grit his teeth in response and strained with any strength he had left to move. Riley watched as his entire right side lay there uselessly, completely numb and void of any hope. With another attempt he was able to lift his left arm and watch it flop back down beside him. 

_“You’re dying.”_ A voice inside his head reminded him as if it was worried he would forget. 

_“No. No. No. No.”_

With an unintelligible sound he pushed himself up onto his knees and rose for a brief moment before he crashed back down to the blood soaked sand. A mixture of dark blood and wet earth flooded into his mouth. 

Panic raced through his veins and replaced what should have been blood. He could feel his heart soaring as it fought along beside him. He rose to his knees again and stumbled forward, making it only a few pathetic steps before time lunged out and grasped his ankles, causing him to splay onto his stomach. 

_**“No! No! No! No! No!”** _

He shoved himself back up and a surge of pain washed through him. Somewhere in his mind he registered that he was falling. He reached out and grasped at the ground that was tumbling and rolling beneath him but it crumbled in his hands. 

Riley hit the ground hard and lay dazed for a moment. He heaved in a small breath and stared at his blood-covered hand in morbid fascination. His mind began to drift before he remembered the air that was slipping from his lungs. He could almost make out something before him, it looked like a person watching him and he began to crawl toward it. 

_**“NONONONONONO!”** _

Riley could no longer feel the blood or the pain. As his ears rung loudly the only emotion he could comprehend was pure dread. He crawled forward on his hands and knees and tried again to scream. Blood streamed down his head and filled his open mouth. 

He collapsed down with a thud and coughed harshly to try and rid the substance from his mouth. Riley tried to yell something, anything, but he could not remember how to speak. 

He watched weakly while the figure walked toward him. He recognized the face, it was Jay, he was almost sure of it. Jay looked down at him gently and then reached out a hand, he was reaching for him. 

Riley’s heart soared and his pulse beat. He tried to grasp onto him but he couldn’t lift his hands. 

He saw Jay pull back, and then time finally took him.


End file.
